cards I'm dealt.

I'm not a fan of gambling. My post about my trip to AC a few weeks ago kinda showed it. It's complicated and it requires a lot of thinking and strategy. It also involves upset and uncertainty. We never know what kind of cards we'll be dealt. LIFE IS THE EXACT SAME WAY.

I know I could be going on yet another rant at how I just don't understand how or why I'm in the situations I'm in or why "my life sucks" as we have all thought numerous times in our lives. But shit, I am exhausted at trying to figure out why time after time I'm just being dealt some pretty shitty cards and having to fold time and time again.

I'm over-exaggerating but this is MY blog and I am free to bitch and complain if I feel the need to. It's not like I'm calling you up with tears in my eyes, complaining about it. Feel free to skip what may seem like something you're in no mood to be emotional about.

To delve into details at why I'm feeling this way is something I'm not ready to share with my followers just yet. I'll just say it is yet another example as to why, even after I take the initiative to make some hopefully great changes in my life and for this upcoming new year, I am still folding at every single round.

It's kinda like Black Jack too (since we're on the whole gambling theme here). I get dealt what I think are pretty promising cards, and before you know it, I'm either under or over 21. Shit. There go my chips.

I'm still trying to figure out when I should cash out my "winnings" (Ha-fucking-ha!). I'm still new to the game so we'll see how long I go at these said changes and see where they take me. All I know is that I don't have enough to get myself a yacht so I can just escape to a far off land where avocados thrive and sexy people just want to cater to me 24/7. Oh, and maybe I'll have a dog to play with too.

The only thing I can do is be grateful for what I have and just. keep. waiting.

I'm sorry. I can't keep my followers on a whim at guessing what I'm talking about...I am just SICK of the "potential" or lack thereof at finding...someone. Singledom is nice and a friend told me to embrace it but when it comes down to it, it's not what I want. I'm bored and I need some freshness, maybe from someone I won't see all the time on campus.

Note for future blog posts: I've come to the self-realization that I am picky & shallow.

To get out of the shitty mood, I may watch some stand up by Ellen Degeneres. I listened to her HBO stand-up special Here & Now on the way to AC. I almost pissed myself in the back of my friend Andrew's car as I listened to her.