What I aspire to be...

I was helping Tori house/dog-sit last night for some family friends. Well, not exactly help but was along for the ride. And let me tell you, last night was quite the ride. More deets later. But sheesh, I need to get my blogging shit together and get back on this.

Anywho and in the meantime, it was around 1115pm and Tori said, "Umm...I kinda have to watch this." I look at the sleek flatscreen TV mounted above the brick fireplace (these lesbians know how to decorate) and see she has the DVR menu open. Glee.

Hmm. I don't watch this and I remember a lot of the people I lived with abroad (even our Housemother Lyndsay watched it and she was Australian!) were "Gleeks."

"Oh, I don't care. Yeah, go ahead. Put it on." I was confused to say the least - it's like the fifteenth season (exaggerating, duh) and I don't know who anyone is except the gay guy and Lea Michele. Who btw, are awesome triple threats (you know: sing, dance, act). I enjoyed what this cheerleader said to Kurt (I found out his name)....

"I am Unicorn" episode

I feel so close to you right now, it's a forcefield.

I've come to the conclusion that whatever crabby mood I find myself in, I just put on some Calvin Harris and he makes things all better. Well, not all things considering he won't make me feel any better about my credit card debt, my job, and the fact that I'm single and meet weird people off the Internet. But his upbeat tunes make me smile and feel a little better than how I was feeling. His music videos are so awesome to watch. They kind of remind me of Miami Horror in the sense of being story-telling.

Feel So Close

This young Scot who was born Adam Richard Wiles worked on this "humanthesizer: back in 2009 and it amazingly creates synthesized beats with the help of some techy paint and...bodies. So cool, must watch. I need that paint asap!

Humanthesizer

I've also come to the conclusion that I have a favorite genre of music rather than simply saying "I listen to everything", which is starting to be overused by basically all of mankind because they wish their pet iPods were like my pet iPod Kramer. If I haven't gone over this already, his name is an anagram for the word "marker." Why I decided on this? No clue. But I'd consider my favorite genres of music to be Electropop/Synthrock and Indie Pop/Rock. Examples: Empire of the Sun, Dragonette, Ladyhawke, The xx, Discovery, The Knife, Lykke Li, Passion Pit, Phoenix, The Temper Trap, Vampire Weekend, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, among others. Whew! I lurve me some music. 

Farewell to Summahtime

With Fall prettyyyy much around the corner, I'd like to bid adeu to the Summertime. It's been fun, hot, and at times unbearable but what season isn't? You gave me a great tan, red cheeks, and a sweaty back. You gave me an excuse to jump into cold water half naked. You were the reason why beer companies came out with special seasonal blends that only taste great when you're around. You stay light outside well after 8pm, allowing for longer outdoor activities. You let me show off my bronzed legs in sun dresses and shorts. And despite my distaste for sand in my crevices, you were the perfect excuse to hit the beach with my betches (male companions included). So thank you. And until next time.

And so, I leave you with a clip from one of my favvvve shows. Summer Heights High.  There's no better way of saying goodbye to summer than with one of Ja'mie's blunt   thoughts. #Dyaknowhatimean?

The best show...ever

Like Crazy

I can't wait for this movie to come out. Because once in a while, we all need a good cry with the help of a sentimental romantic drama about young love and the complications that it entails. Huff, love sucks. It also seems like this Felicity Jones is going to be the new Natalie Portman. But no one can replace Natalie Portman. She's Natalie Portman! Anyways, FJ is pretty. And British. And has all the potential to be a successful starlet. And she gets to mack with my kid crush Anton Yelchin. I remember him from his House of D and Charlie Bartlett days. #Suchacutie #always.




Like Crazy Trailer [2011]

"I thought I understood it. But I didn't. Only the smudgness of it. The eagerness of it. The idea of it. Of you and me."

 Ingrid Michaelson's cover of "Can't Help But Falling In Love With You" used in the trailer is so...so...lovely sad is how I can best put it. Fuckin' tear jerker. No, I shant...not at work.

The funniest women on the Internet

Their videos are the reasons why I never get anything done. And another reason why people hear me hysterically laughing from another room and they don't know why. Well, now you know! But it also could be because I'm watching cat videos on Youtube.

Subscribe to their channels on YouTube...


Jenna Marbles


Glowpinkstah

You have sooo much catching up to do - they have heaps of videos. Enjoy!

Vegan Baking

This is a newly found hobby...er, test run? Trial run is how to best put it. But not a permanent lifestyle change. At least not just yet. I know a few vegans, or, a vegan. I wasn't all too familiar with the lifestyle but have heard of it. For those of you who are oblivious to the array of foodie lifestyles there are, a vegan is (according to Vegan Action)...

A vegan (pronounced VEE-gun) is someone who, for various reasons, chooses to avoid using or consuming animal products. While vegetarians choose not to use flesh foods, vegans also avoid dairy and eggs, as well as fur, leather, wool, down, and cosmetics or chemical products tested on animals.

I'm not too sure if I'll stop wearing leather goods. Lord knows I'm not too keen on fur so that part I won't have to worry about. And I don't even know if the makeup I use is vegan. To me, a vegan lifestyle only refers to what I put in my body, not on it. But who knows, there are probably full out vegans who steer clear of animal products altogether.

I'd best consider myself a newly transitioning pescetarian - "one who excludes land animals and birds, but includes fish, mollusks, and crustaceans in addition to fruits, vegetables, plants, legumes, nuts, and grains. Eggs and dairy may or may not be present in the pescetarian's diet." - According to Pescetarian Life.

Well, what? I loveeee my sushi. Weening off of dairy is one thing. But spicy tuna I hold near and dear to my healthy heart.


One night, I thought I'd try to bake something. I overslept and missed a bikram yoga class so what else was there to do? Bake some vegan cookies! I found an easy recipe for Vegan Lemon Sugar Cookies. We had all of the essential ingredients but I needed a few from the store. So, Gi and I head over to Trader Joes where I pick up a lemon, stevia (a natual sugar substitute), and...tofu? I didn't know tofu could be put in cookies. And I kind of wish it wasn't. Because after what I thought would be a healthful, scrumptious alternative, ended up being the equivalent to a sweet dog biscuit. And the tofu left a weird aftertaste in my mouth, along with in the mouths of my test audience that were sadly subjected to tasting my failed attempt at vegan baking. 

Look for Pacman. 

Brody approved :)

But today, I redeemed myself with an easy and tasteful vegan oatmeal raisin recipe I found. And these look and taste more like cookies rather than biscuits.

Yum

And so, veganism doesn't deprive one of any of the dairy-filled goodies that one may normally be used to. There are always alternatives! One may argue that the "alternatives" may be more like "faulternatives" but that's for you to judge...and whether you even decide to change your lifestyle. But give it a try! No one said you were a hemp seed-eating hipster who's opening a vegan bakery while playing bongos and hanging out with dogs in your free time simply because you tried something. I'm still open to heading to a vegan restaurant and seeing what that's all about. I'm always open to trying new things so bring it on, vegan restaurant! I already get more than a daily dose of vegetables everyday so trying vegan lasagna is worth a shot. Also, the biffle nug found a Groupon that was "up your alley" as she put it. So, in the near future, we'll be heading to a vegan restaurant in Park Slope for a dinner for two that I bought for $19. Good find!

Until the day comes that I completely wipe out all dairy from my diet, which may take some baby steps, I'll still indulge in the occasional dairy-filled sweet treat. Like this little guy...

It even came with a spoon!

I couldn't help but get it. I love tiramisu. I truly believe that Italian desserts are the best kind: cannolis, gelato, tiramisu. And now that B&J have a tiramisu ice cream (let alone, the 3.6 fl oz. size that I purchased) out makes me rethink this whole vegan trial run. But I did find a recipe for vegan tiramisu cupcakes that I'll probably have to attempt one weekend when I'm feeling ballsy enough. 

Did I ever tell you about that one time...

1. I got pulled over then got out of a hefty ticket

This happened a few weeks ago when I was driving my fairly new car named Wally back to New York. I went haome for a weekend - dentist appointment, you know - and was headed back to New Gross Monday evening. The trip is roughly two and a half hours, sometimes two hours and fifteen minutes without traffic...and the fact that I'm speeding a majority of the time.

However, the New Jersey Turnpike is notorious for its plethora of cops that pull over reckless drivers in hindsight. And driving at night, when the traffic is slim, makes it difficult to notice that you speed right by one. Which is what I did. The GPS told me I literally had a half hour left of my commute and after listening to the same CD on repeat TWICE, all I wanted to do was get the fuh home.

But what do you know...the po po be on my azz. Immediately, I saw flashing lights dart right behind me and I jet to the side of the road. I knew exactly why I was getting pulled over. What sucks was I barely broke in my new ride - I didn't even have the new tags for it! - before having my run in with the law. I get my registration and proof of insurance ready to hand over to the officer before he makes his way over to my window.

He was cute, fairly young (I want to say maybe early 30s, nice on the eyes too), and seemed rather friendly. Our conversation was as follows:

Mr. Officer: Hello there, license and registration please.

Me: Here ya go. Sorry, I'm just gonna get my license in my purse.

Mr. Officer: That's alright.

[hand sexy cop my license]

Mr. Officer: So, do you know why I pulled you over?

Me: [Smiling] I was speeding.

Mr. Officer: Yep. Do you know how fast you were going?

Me: Hmm. I wanna say...85?

Mr. Officer: [Smiling with his sexy smile] Right on the money! Do you know what the speed limit is here?

Me: Uhh...I really don't.

Mr. Officer: It's 55. Which means you were going 30 miles over the limit.

Me: Ohhhh. Okay.

Mr. Officer: So, what're you driving through Jersey for? You're license says Delaware.

Me: I work up in White Plains...temporarily.

Mr. Officer: Oh, so you have a place to stay?

Me: Yeah, in New Rochelle.

Mr. Officer: Ohh, okay. But why in such a hurry?

Me: Honestly, Officer, I just wanted to get home.

Mr. Officer: I see. How's your driving record?

Me: Uhhh...I wanna say it's pretty good?

Mr. Officer: Well, when did you get your last ticket?

Me: Hmm. I think it was two or three years ago. But I figured that's something you can check when you run my license.

Mr. Officer: Alrighty. Okay, I'm just gonna run this so sit tight I'll be right back.

Me: Okay! [Smiling]

I go ahead and tweet an FML-like tweet, text my roomie letting her know I'm not gonna be back when I planned since I got pulled over, and just think how fucked I'll be with paying for yet another thing on top of credit card bills, rent, and new car payments (fuckin' a). Five minutes go by and he walks back to my car with his sexy cop strut. I roll down my window.

Mr. Officer: You know, I really appreciate you being honest with me. And that's something I look for when I pull people over...So, I'm gonna give you a written warning this time.

[My face reads STUNNED]

...you were looking at mandatory court for being 3o miles over the speed limit, a $260 dollar fine, and three points on your license.

Me: Oh my. Wow. Officer, I-I-I love you. Wanna bang?

HAHAHA fooled ya! This is what I said fo realz...

Me: Oh my. Officer, thank you so much. I-I really appreciate this. Thank you.

Mr. Officer: Not a problem, Ms. Allen. Now drive safely and get home safe [smiling]

Me: Thank you I will :)

Ugh what a hottie. And I definitely lucked out.

(I'm So Okay With Being Single [FOR NOW]) Quote of the Day

"You're wrong for me, and I'm OK with that. I don't want to be with someone who is wrong for me. Welcome to NYC, bitch - there's all types of wrong for me out here. And besides, if you were right for me we'd already be together, because that's what happens when people are right for each other." - Kat George for TC.

Source: Why You Are Wrong For Me

Get it gurrrrl!

Congrats to Miss Universe 2011 third-place runner up Shamcey Supsup from General Santos City, Philippines. Reppin' the hottest genre of Asians out there. Whoot whoot!

LDW Vlogging

With this new camera I got, I figured I'd show you how my 3-day weekend was down at the Jersey Shore. Nooo, not the Seaside Heights version (or place) but the more relaxed town of Longport. But for some reason I'm only allowed to upload one video at a time. And the shortest one of the bunch is the only one I can upload. Bummer, man. Oh well, it'll show how much fun I had with a few good friends down at the beach with absolutely no worries to deal with (except for the plethora of different casinos/clubs there were in Atlantic City). Hoofta.

Grieving Process part deux

I know I couldn't keep writing in my last post about grieving. That's just wayy too many of my issues for someone to take in. So I apologize.

Actually, I don't. Like I've said before, this is my blog and if something doesn't strike your fancy just skip over it or watch cat videos on YouTube until I decide to be my usual funny, #dgaf self. Thanks.

I kind of left it as if it were a primetime drama where you have to wait until the next episode to find out who really stole syringes from the medical closet or those stupid commercial breaks when Maury is about to reveal who da baby daddy is to some teen mama. Or when that fucker Ryan Seacrest is about to make one American Idol contestant's dream NOT come true.

My 'Grieving Process' post was basically about how I got burned for an unknown reason that is now known to me. Because I established weird communicative grounds with Stretch (you must refer to the link above if you care that much to know). Of course I was still upset weeks following our Two Week "Relationship". Out of nowhere Stretch raped my Facebook life: wrote on my wall at 2am, liked my profile picture, liked my comments to said picture, liked my statuses. Even BBMed me saying "Nice prof pic." But that was it. No explanation to why things ended, no "Sorry" (which would've been fucking nice).To me, it seemed like Stretch frolicked around the city with not a care in the world about being such a douchebag. Clearly, someone doesn't have a spine, surprisingly - Stretch does yoga...a lot. Hence, the nickname.

To shorten things up a bit, Stretch and I still communicate...sporadically, passive-aggressively, frenemy-like. It's weird and it sucks and I guess this is a normal way of communicating with one another when things that are slightly left unsettled, brushed under the rug. And that annoyed me. It was like Stretch was saying, "Hey! It looks like you're doing well. So, maybe we can just forget about it as if it never happened and kind of be friends when I feel like I'm not getting enough attention from you." #harsh but what do you expect?

I've actually seen Stretch twice since all of this fuckness. It wasn't awkward as I thought it would be. It was nice. As if nothing changed. But it has. Again, it sucks but it's whatever. I still feel like we're playing games and we are. I know we are. Ugh. It just doesn't make sense to me as to why I'm still "friends" with someone who clearly shit on me and moved on faster than I could blink in astonishment. I'm quite messed up, I know.

Situations like this have helped me realize that everyone needs to act like an asshole or a bitch once in a while to get points across. And I guess that's what I'm doing. I care but I don't (or at least shouldn't). I'm accepting that things aren't the way I wanted them to be or planned on. I'm moving on...at the speed of a turtle but I luckily have an amazing support system who does not like Stretch. And although I receive advice from all angles and added fuel to my fire (clearly my friends are on my side), it's gonna take effort from me, myself, and I to figure this out. And I may never figure shit out. I just have to stop being such a pussy and say what's on my mind.

C'mon Irene.

So, I'm sure the east coast has been basking in the fame spotlight this past week. With recent natural disasters like that earthquake in the beginning of the week and the bitch hurricane Irene that wrecked havoc and shit everywhere. To start last weekend off, the news told everyone to evacuate coastal areas, stay inside, stock up on non-perishable groceries, shit yourself, text your exes and tell them you'll always love them or that you hate them and hope they die, and of course, BE SAFE.

I was kind of worried and annoyed because I had plans last weekend like every other important twentysomething living in New York. I was gonna go on a date, maybe meet up with some douchebag friend in Brooklyn, bask in the sunshine, be a social butterfly, etc. But no, that didn't happen. Transportation to and from the city was going to be suspended starting Saturday afternoon and the last thing I wanted to be was stranded in Williamsburg or Crown Heights with nowhere to go (certainly wasn't going to get cozy after one date and the last place I'd wanna be is aligning my shakras with dbag friend).

Hands off my muffins, bitch!

Coming to terms with the fact that I'd have to stay in New Gross all weekend, I braved the grocery store Friday after work. Ugh, chaos. Lines of shopping carts everywhere, no more bottled water to be found. And the bread? Oh yeah, people like to bulk up on carbs so the strong winds don't blow them over. I'm harsh. But I can be - someone almost took the last Whole Wheat Thomas's English Muffins.

I didn't really buy anything out of the ordinary (carrots, hummus, avos, tortilla chips, veggie burgers, some sushi for dinner), sans a few canned vegetables and a frozen pizza (for the biffle nugg who'd be crashing at our place that weekend). I didn't really stay in line that long either. I wasn't in rush to escape the coming 'cane - it wasn't expected to shit on the east coast for a good 12-16 hours anyways. Next stop: Wine Bazaar next door. I wanted to be classy and increase my know-it-all-ism about wine so instead of the standard whites that I usually purchase, I went with two bottles of red. "I want to start drinking more red wine," I told the cute guy who gave me two awesome suggestions: Hanging Vines Pinot Noir (2010) & Sebastiani Cabernet Savignon (2009). Good years ;)

It was pretty shitty Saturday morning. Just rain. But I went for a run anyways. I came back soaked but it was nice to brave the calm before the storm. It was a lazyyyy Saturday. After my run, I showered, made lunch and drank nearly half the bottle of Pinot Noir all afternoon. I watched a documentary on marathon running, took two cat naps, and refilled my glass in between. I was feeling goooood that night. What else are you gonna do when cabin fever sets in?

Good morning!

Sunday morning I awoke to a sight that kind of scared me. A large and in charge tree from our other neighbor's backyard had basically fell over their fence and into our backyard, eating our deck. If our house was five feet back, that thing would've gone through my bedroom window. To date, the tree is still back there hanging out.
The top of the tree rested it's pretty little head on our deck like a pillow. It also wanted to come inside and hang out with the guys downstairs. Guess I won't be sunbathing on the deck anymore. Bummer. And we all thought she went up north to eat parts of Massachusetts and Rhode Island. But nay nay, she decided to stay for a while. Strong winds and branches blowing in the wind near the living room windows kept distracting us during our game of Monopoly, which I won by the way. I wanted to quit even though I had a lot of properties and moolah, so I handed the torch to my friend Kyle who, with his saavy business tactics, helped us to victory.

All in all, the weekend wasn't that bad. With a house full of company and belly full of wine and laughs, I'd say I didn't mind the hurricane. Our power didn't go out either! Although other parts of Westchester were hit pretty badly (like Bronxville and Rye), it seems like the county of getting back on it's feet.

Bronxville

Rye

As for that tree in our backyard...

it's like a friendly giant.