QOTD

"We all experience pockets of time in life when we gracefully and slowly sail toward a spiritual 'rock bottom,' or spiral toward it clumsily at lightning speed. But the rate of the fall isn't nearly as important as the evidence that we're awakened by the process. Because sensing that process, a shift in our core alignment and purpose, and grabbing a hold of it along the way shows us that we want to illuminate our true selves and share it with the world. It demonstrates that we may be off of the course on which we thought we belonged but we're open to the new one that's being paved. And even when the balloon appears to have flown so far off into the distance we can hardly see it, we'll navigate the toughest roads and scale the highest mountains until we grasp it again."

From "Gabrielle Berstein: A Dose of Wisdom, Tips, and Spirituality"
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/victoria-oldridge/gabrielle-bernstein-a-dose-of-wisdom-tips-and-spirituality_b_4338313.html

Color Aura Test

I noticed on someone's Facebook status results from a quiz they took. I usually don't pay any attention to quiz results on the Internet, let alone someone else's. It was a quiz about the true color of one's aura. An aura is apparently an energy or a quality that surrounds one's person. Something you don't literally see someone shooting out of their body like a bright light but rather an emanation or "vibe" in my own words. I was a bit skeptical but after I took the quiz and read my results, I was like "Damnnnn that is me!" Here are my results and I guess if you know me, you see if this fits me:

Blue

Your Aura is Blue!

Personality: Blue’s are very loyal and can be the truest friend any aura could hope to find. On the inside, blues tend to be emotional and even a bit moody. However, you know that other auras depend on you, so you put on a strong front. They tend to live a quiet but enriching life. Blues are very giving of them and is hard to let go of relationships. They believe the key to living a good life is simple: Be as honest with yourselves and others as possible. They value the truth over everything else. Blue will remain loyal to those who are honest with them, even if their honesty hurts. Compared to most other auras, blues handle the truth very well. They take every event into stride. Blues are the calm spot in a sea of chaos. They think that the solution to most problems is open communication; they wish that people would be more real with each other. A Blue personality uses its five physical senses to access information. An emotionally driven personality, you need to be liked and accepted. It is one of the "needs" that can cause apprehension in your personality. You are a polite, cooperative person who seeks to create conflict-free surroundings. You possess highly developed powers of observation. Family is important to you and you sometimes find yourself in the role of being a caretaker. You are conservative, reliable and trustworthy - you are quite trusting of others although you are very wary in the beginning until you are sure of the other person. You are not impulsive- you always think before you speak and act and do everything at your own pace in your own time. You take time to process and share your feelings. You are genuine and sincere, and you take your responsibilities seriously. You have a deep need for peace and harmony in your everyday life. You appear to be confident and self-controlled, but may be hiding your vulnerable side. You are generally fairly even-tempered, unless your emotions take over - then you can become either moody and over-emotional, or cool and indifferent. You are sensitive to the needs of others. While you are friendly and sociable, you prefer the company of your own close group of friends. You are a rescuer and love to be needed. You can be rigid - you like to stick to what is familiar to you- you stubbornly do things your way even if there is a better way. Untidiness and unpredictability overwhelm you. You don't like to draw attention to yourself. While you don't like to have discord or conflict in your life, you are often the cause of conflict with others; you can be quite manipulative but in a very subtle way. You make a loyal and faithful marriage partner and you are an honest, trustworthy and sincere friend. You are aware of others feelings and sensitive to the moods of others. You are approachable and friendly, always making people feel welcome in your life. You have a thirst for knowledge in order to gain wisdom and appear knowledgeable in whatever area interests you. You can be too cautious and worry about every little thing.

Love Life: Relationships are your top priority, and this includes love. You are most happy when you are serious with someone.

Yellow: Too annoying to even take a liking to

Pink: You are very lucky if Pink even pays attention to you, their reputation may be in the way to start a relationship with them

Green: Another perfect match for blue! They have one of those personalities that make you want to be around them all the time.

Orange: They believe they are way too good for blues, which is not true at all!!

Purple: Without Blue there would not even be a purple, they are the best bet at finding your soul mate

White: Their studies get in the way from every flirtatious move you make to them

Perfect Color Love Match: Red: Committed and Passionate they are definitely a good mate 

Friendship Color: When you and purple are together no one can stop you!

Color Opposite:Your color wheel opposite is Orange. Orange people may be opinionated, but you feel they lack the depth to truly understand what they're saying

Words that Describe Blue: Emotional, Affected, Sensitive, Peaceful, Tranquil, Connected, Spiritual, Experimental, and Deep

Purpose of Life:Showing Love to Other People

To take the quiz and find out the true (or "true" if you're skeptical) color of your aura, here is the link: http://www.quotev.com/quiz/1366538/What-is-Your-True-Color-Aura/ 

Say Something

It only took me a few days too long to find out what a great song this is. Unfortunately it's sad...in a good way. I'm not sure if that makes sense: Things that are sad in a good way. I feel as if music is one of the few things that encompasses sad but beautiful pieces of art. Well, now I guess art could also be considered sad but beautiful. Whatever.

The song is pretty tragic, I'm not gonna lie. I watched the live performance on last night's AMAs and even I was on the verge of tears and it was the first time I heard the song. My roommate's mom actually cried watching it. I'm surprised I was able to hold it together. The lyrics basically explain the song - according to Tris McCall of New Jersey's The Star Ledger, "Axel’s narrator is delivering an ultimatum to somebody he doesn’t want to give up on, but feels that he has to for the sake of his own sanity. It’s left unclear why, but there are strong hints in the song that the person who is being addressed is addicted to something." Both members of A Great Big World, Chad Vaccarino and Ian Axel, were suffering from their own personal heartbreaks when working on the song together, so in a way it was sort of like therapy for them. 

It was kind of painful listening to the lyrics. The song is beautiful but the lyrics are just so fucking honest. I mean, how many times have you or someone you know been in a situation where you are really at your wit's end with someone but you can't give up on them? Or you refuse to give up on them? But what it really is doing is tearing you up inside, making you feel like your emotions are getting torn like little pieces of paper by some really frustrating child who won't stop tearing up those pieces of paper. It's like "Can you please, stop ripping up that paper? That's like my mind, body and soul you're tearing up right now and I have NO CLUE as to why you're doing that." All the while, the stupid kid won't listen nor will they stop smiling at your sadness. Okay, I got a little too carried away but how else can you explain that sort of pain. Like really? How?!

As painful as it is to love someone where you really don't benefit from the repercussions to follow, sometimes you really just have to put yourself first. And that...is really fucking scary. When you've done all you can and there's nothing you can do can help this person, whether it's an emotional struggle or physical ailment, you have to let go. And that's tough in many different degrees for everyone. It's really, frickin' tough. 

The music video (which you will be able to enjoy below, or maybe not so much enjoy) touches upon three different stories that the song can essentially be about: heartbreak, loneliness, and loss. Prepare to wipe your face because snot is going to come out of it when you cry at this number. And it's okay to think about your own life and relate to the song and feel a little sad after. You're allowed. Lyrics are underneath.


Say Something - A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera\

Say something, I'm giving up on you.
I'll be the one, if you want me to.
Anywhere, I would've followed you.
Say something, I'm giving up on you.

And I am feeling so small.
It was over my head
I know nothing at all.

And I will stumble and fall.
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.
Anywhere, I would've followed you.
Say something, I'm giving up on you.

And I will swallow my pride.
You're the one that I love
And I'm saying goodbye.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.
And anywhere, I would have followed you.
Oh-oh-oh-oh say something, I'm giving up on you.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.
Say something...

Truth Bomb Tuesday

Stay positive. 

Tyler Knott Gregson

I didn't hear of this poet until I saw some of his stuff on Pinterest and Instagram.

If you're ever feeling down or stuck...

Yeah, I'm pissed off...

But there's not point of talking about it. Just gonna post this shit...

Those nights...

...how they can be unpredictable sometimes. "Let it go, Jules" is what I should tell myself. "Tomorrow is a new day."

And the things you find on Pinterest late at night. To me, this says it all because love isn't seamless, effortless, or easy. Adjust your sails accordingly.

I'm learning. 

Kaboom.

I think this quote describes me perfectly. I'm clearly not graceful and I have a tendency of reacting before responding, often causing conflicts to arise. I'm not perfect, I'm sensitive, I'm selfish when I think I'm being empathetic and more times than not, I "can't seem to have a normal conversation." I talk to people who like to brush things under the rug, or don't wanna deal with it. I try to be understanding but clearly I'm not a therapist and when I try to listen, I fail. When I give "philosophical" advice as I was once told, it just seems to not be good enough; it seems to be just too deep. No matter what comes out of my mouth, people don't have the patience or understanding themselves to get what I'm saying. Underneath my selfish and insecure exterior they fail to recognize some who cares. When you're pissed, I'm not in a good mood. When you're sad, it's hard for me to be in good spirits. 

But what's funny to me is that when I try, the other person gives up on me. They get irritated, they no longer wanna talk to someone who would stay on the phone all through the night if that's what made them feel better. But when I'm the one who needs somebody, they don't have time. If my anxiety was at an all time high, I have been told to "let it go" when all I need are some simple kind words of understanding. And no, I don't need to be "babied" or coddled 24/7. But don't expect me to respond well to someone telling me I'm irritating when I know I have shit to work on. Don't tell me to suck it up when I would never tell you to let go of your trauma, your pain, your problems. I'm not looking for a pity party since I throw great ones on my own. And don't think I'm never given tough love ("You did this to yourself" as my dad put it one time last winter when I wasn't doing well) because I'm well accustomed to it. 

In the end, I make sacrifices, and I can't get that same trying attitude from the other person. I'm hard-headed and I can't seem to find someone who is willing to understand me. 

Call this a pity post if you want, but I'm human and I have feelings. It's my blog, I can make it about me if I want to.