Looking at the calendar now, it's almost been 3 months since I've last written here. Unlike before, I won't sit here and apologize for not writing. I've just been unmotivated. Although endless thoughts flood my mind, I didn't feel the need to write them down and share.
To sum up the fall and winter thus far, I can truly say I've had better days but who hasn't gone through a time in their lives where things kind of just...stop? Where you don't really feel like yourself or up to doing anything that normally you would do in a heartbeat.
I took a sabbatical from dating, something that I think helped but hurt all at the same time. Going through countless dead-end experiences wasn't ideal for me. And to escape the mind games, overthinking, and empty wallet over people who clearly were looking for different things kind of saved my well-being. But it also hurt at the same time because although those people disappointed me, I did miss that companionship; that feeling of being "wanted"; the good kind of busy where you couldn't meet up with your girlfriends because you had a cute date to go on. The text conversations and random twenty-minute chats on the phone, that's what I missed. But learning how to be alone, although somewhat lonely, isn't always a bad thing. I've been learning to rely on friends for fun comradery and painstaking laughter and I'm continuing (struggling, but continuing) to rebuild my self-worth and not dwell on the things I miss and hope for in a relationship. I know that I'm bound to have a healthy one eventually but at the right time and with the right person, as patient as I have to be, I am learning to understand as time goes on.This doesn't mean I'll burst out with some feelings of heartbreak ever again, because there will be days where I will feel like complete crap but right now I'm just trying to things as they are and not feel sad. Besides, I'm at work right now and being consoled by my co-workers would make me feel awkward.
Right before Super Storm Sandy scared the shit out of me and the rest of the Northeast, I came down with a bout of really bad laryngitis, which actually turned out to be mononucleosis. Yummy. And of course, just my luck. I wouldn't consider myself germaphobic but I always had this uncanny fear of getting mono kind of like how Hannah Horvath was always afraid of contracting AIDS. Did I mention I'm like really excited for the new season of Girls to come out on January 13th? Anyways, I didn't receive the results of my bloodtest until a few days before Thanksgiving. So right after my tonsil nastiness cleared up I went right back to working out not knowing my spleen was swollen and could burst if I ever were to trip and fall on a morning run outside. Oops! All in all, I'm feeling better and have been for almost two months. My doctor says I'm not contagious and to take it easy working out.
So since nothing exciting has really happened since I last wrote here (and I'm not saying my last post was anything to be excited about), I guess one of the reasons why I've decided to write this short blurb was because one of my best friends motivated me with her own writing. My health guru workout queen nugget Gi has taken to her own writing outlet and I must say she is one to inspire and motivate. Take a look at her new blog that'll not only motivate you to be the best version of yourself you could possible be, but it'll also put things in perspective in an intriguing way. With a background in health and fitness, she can even inspire those tummy trolls to feel motivated and get Gi-Fit :)
I'm not making a comeback or anything like that by writing for the first time in a long time. This may be the last post I write for a while, who knows. But after reading some moving words by one of my closest friends, I've decided to come back and see where things take me.
Oh, and I finally got an iPhone. The 5. It's really cool but I'm still getting used to it.
