What I aspire to be...

I was helping Tori house/dog-sit last night for some family friends. Well, not exactly help but was along for the ride. And let me tell you, last night was quite the ride. More deets later. But sheesh, I need to get my blogging shit together and get back on this.

Anywho and in the meantime, it was around 1115pm and Tori said, "Umm...I kinda have to watch this." I look at the sleek flatscreen TV mounted above the brick fireplace (these lesbians know how to decorate) and see she has the DVR menu open. Glee.

Hmm. I don't watch this and I remember a lot of the people I lived with abroad (even our Housemother Lyndsay watched it and she was Australian!) were "Gleeks."

"Oh, I don't care. Yeah, go ahead. Put it on." I was confused to say the least - it's like the fifteenth season (exaggerating, duh) and I don't know who anyone is except the gay guy and Lea Michele. Who btw, are awesome triple threats (you know: sing, dance, act). I enjoyed what this cheerleader said to Kurt (I found out his name)....

"I am Unicorn" episode

I feel so close to you right now, it's a forcefield.

I've come to the conclusion that whatever crabby mood I find myself in, I just put on some Calvin Harris and he makes things all better. Well, not all things considering he won't make me feel any better about my credit card debt, my job, and the fact that I'm single and meet weird people off the Internet. But his upbeat tunes make me smile and feel a little better than how I was feeling. His music videos are so awesome to watch. They kind of remind me of Miami Horror in the sense of being story-telling.

Feel So Close

This young Scot who was born Adam Richard Wiles worked on this "humanthesizer: back in 2009 and it amazingly creates synthesized beats with the help of some techy paint and...bodies. So cool, must watch. I need that paint asap!

Humanthesizer

I've also come to the conclusion that I have a favorite genre of music rather than simply saying "I listen to everything", which is starting to be overused by basically all of mankind because they wish their pet iPods were like my pet iPod Kramer. If I haven't gone over this already, his name is an anagram for the word "marker." Why I decided on this? No clue. But I'd consider my favorite genres of music to be Electropop/Synthrock and Indie Pop/Rock. Examples: Empire of the Sun, Dragonette, Ladyhawke, The xx, Discovery, The Knife, Lykke Li, Passion Pit, Phoenix, The Temper Trap, Vampire Weekend, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, among others. Whew! I lurve me some music. 

Farewell to Summahtime

With Fall prettyyyy much around the corner, I'd like to bid adeu to the Summertime. It's been fun, hot, and at times unbearable but what season isn't? You gave me a great tan, red cheeks, and a sweaty back. You gave me an excuse to jump into cold water half naked. You were the reason why beer companies came out with special seasonal blends that only taste great when you're around. You stay light outside well after 8pm, allowing for longer outdoor activities. You let me show off my bronzed legs in sun dresses and shorts. And despite my distaste for sand in my crevices, you were the perfect excuse to hit the beach with my betches (male companions included). So thank you. And until next time.

And so, I leave you with a clip from one of my favvvve shows. Summer Heights High.  There's no better way of saying goodbye to summer than with one of Ja'mie's blunt   thoughts. #Dyaknowhatimean?

The best show...ever

Like Crazy

I can't wait for this movie to come out. Because once in a while, we all need a good cry with the help of a sentimental romantic drama about young love and the complications that it entails. Huff, love sucks. It also seems like this Felicity Jones is going to be the new Natalie Portman. But no one can replace Natalie Portman. She's Natalie Portman! Anyways, FJ is pretty. And British. And has all the potential to be a successful starlet. And she gets to mack with my kid crush Anton Yelchin. I remember him from his House of D and Charlie Bartlett days. #Suchacutie #always.




Like Crazy Trailer [2011]

"I thought I understood it. But I didn't. Only the smudgness of it. The eagerness of it. The idea of it. Of you and me."

 Ingrid Michaelson's cover of "Can't Help But Falling In Love With You" used in the trailer is so...so...lovely sad is how I can best put it. Fuckin' tear jerker. No, I shant...not at work.

The funniest women on the Internet

Their videos are the reasons why I never get anything done. And another reason why people hear me hysterically laughing from another room and they don't know why. Well, now you know! But it also could be because I'm watching cat videos on Youtube.

Subscribe to their channels on YouTube...


Jenna Marbles


Glowpinkstah

You have sooo much catching up to do - they have heaps of videos. Enjoy!

Vegan Baking

This is a newly found hobby...er, test run? Trial run is how to best put it. But not a permanent lifestyle change. At least not just yet. I know a few vegans, or, a vegan. I wasn't all too familiar with the lifestyle but have heard of it. For those of you who are oblivious to the array of foodie lifestyles there are, a vegan is (according to Vegan Action)...

A vegan (pronounced VEE-gun) is someone who, for various reasons, chooses to avoid using or consuming animal products. While vegetarians choose not to use flesh foods, vegans also avoid dairy and eggs, as well as fur, leather, wool, down, and cosmetics or chemical products tested on animals.

I'm not too sure if I'll stop wearing leather goods. Lord knows I'm not too keen on fur so that part I won't have to worry about. And I don't even know if the makeup I use is vegan. To me, a vegan lifestyle only refers to what I put in my body, not on it. But who knows, there are probably full out vegans who steer clear of animal products altogether.

I'd best consider myself a newly transitioning pescetarian - "one who excludes land animals and birds, but includes fish, mollusks, and crustaceans in addition to fruits, vegetables, plants, legumes, nuts, and grains. Eggs and dairy may or may not be present in the pescetarian's diet." - According to Pescetarian Life.

Well, what? I loveeee my sushi. Weening off of dairy is one thing. But spicy tuna I hold near and dear to my healthy heart.


One night, I thought I'd try to bake something. I overslept and missed a bikram yoga class so what else was there to do? Bake some vegan cookies! I found an easy recipe for Vegan Lemon Sugar Cookies. We had all of the essential ingredients but I needed a few from the store. So, Gi and I head over to Trader Joes where I pick up a lemon, stevia (a natual sugar substitute), and...tofu? I didn't know tofu could be put in cookies. And I kind of wish it wasn't. Because after what I thought would be a healthful, scrumptious alternative, ended up being the equivalent to a sweet dog biscuit. And the tofu left a weird aftertaste in my mouth, along with in the mouths of my test audience that were sadly subjected to tasting my failed attempt at vegan baking. 

Look for Pacman. 

Brody approved :)

But today, I redeemed myself with an easy and tasteful vegan oatmeal raisin recipe I found. And these look and taste more like cookies rather than biscuits.

Yum

And so, veganism doesn't deprive one of any of the dairy-filled goodies that one may normally be used to. There are always alternatives! One may argue that the "alternatives" may be more like "faulternatives" but that's for you to judge...and whether you even decide to change your lifestyle. But give it a try! No one said you were a hemp seed-eating hipster who's opening a vegan bakery while playing bongos and hanging out with dogs in your free time simply because you tried something. I'm still open to heading to a vegan restaurant and seeing what that's all about. I'm always open to trying new things so bring it on, vegan restaurant! I already get more than a daily dose of vegetables everyday so trying vegan lasagna is worth a shot. Also, the biffle nug found a Groupon that was "up your alley" as she put it. So, in the near future, we'll be heading to a vegan restaurant in Park Slope for a dinner for two that I bought for $19. Good find!

Until the day comes that I completely wipe out all dairy from my diet, which may take some baby steps, I'll still indulge in the occasional dairy-filled sweet treat. Like this little guy...

It even came with a spoon!

I couldn't help but get it. I love tiramisu. I truly believe that Italian desserts are the best kind: cannolis, gelato, tiramisu. And now that B&J have a tiramisu ice cream (let alone, the 3.6 fl oz. size that I purchased) out makes me rethink this whole vegan trial run. But I did find a recipe for vegan tiramisu cupcakes that I'll probably have to attempt one weekend when I'm feeling ballsy enough. 

Did I ever tell you about that one time...

1. I got pulled over then got out of a hefty ticket

This happened a few weeks ago when I was driving my fairly new car named Wally back to New York. I went haome for a weekend - dentist appointment, you know - and was headed back to New Gross Monday evening. The trip is roughly two and a half hours, sometimes two hours and fifteen minutes without traffic...and the fact that I'm speeding a majority of the time.

However, the New Jersey Turnpike is notorious for its plethora of cops that pull over reckless drivers in hindsight. And driving at night, when the traffic is slim, makes it difficult to notice that you speed right by one. Which is what I did. The GPS told me I literally had a half hour left of my commute and after listening to the same CD on repeat TWICE, all I wanted to do was get the fuh home.

But what do you know...the po po be on my azz. Immediately, I saw flashing lights dart right behind me and I jet to the side of the road. I knew exactly why I was getting pulled over. What sucks was I barely broke in my new ride - I didn't even have the new tags for it! - before having my run in with the law. I get my registration and proof of insurance ready to hand over to the officer before he makes his way over to my window.

He was cute, fairly young (I want to say maybe early 30s, nice on the eyes too), and seemed rather friendly. Our conversation was as follows:

Mr. Officer: Hello there, license and registration please.

Me: Here ya go. Sorry, I'm just gonna get my license in my purse.

Mr. Officer: That's alright.

[hand sexy cop my license]

Mr. Officer: So, do you know why I pulled you over?

Me: [Smiling] I was speeding.

Mr. Officer: Yep. Do you know how fast you were going?

Me: Hmm. I wanna say...85?

Mr. Officer: [Smiling with his sexy smile] Right on the money! Do you know what the speed limit is here?

Me: Uhh...I really don't.

Mr. Officer: It's 55. Which means you were going 30 miles over the limit.

Me: Ohhhh. Okay.

Mr. Officer: So, what're you driving through Jersey for? You're license says Delaware.

Me: I work up in White Plains...temporarily.

Mr. Officer: Oh, so you have a place to stay?

Me: Yeah, in New Rochelle.

Mr. Officer: Ohh, okay. But why in such a hurry?

Me: Honestly, Officer, I just wanted to get home.

Mr. Officer: I see. How's your driving record?

Me: Uhhh...I wanna say it's pretty good?

Mr. Officer: Well, when did you get your last ticket?

Me: Hmm. I think it was two or three years ago. But I figured that's something you can check when you run my license.

Mr. Officer: Alrighty. Okay, I'm just gonna run this so sit tight I'll be right back.

Me: Okay! [Smiling]

I go ahead and tweet an FML-like tweet, text my roomie letting her know I'm not gonna be back when I planned since I got pulled over, and just think how fucked I'll be with paying for yet another thing on top of credit card bills, rent, and new car payments (fuckin' a). Five minutes go by and he walks back to my car with his sexy cop strut. I roll down my window.

Mr. Officer: You know, I really appreciate you being honest with me. And that's something I look for when I pull people over...So, I'm gonna give you a written warning this time.

[My face reads STUNNED]

...you were looking at mandatory court for being 3o miles over the speed limit, a $260 dollar fine, and three points on your license.

Me: Oh my. Wow. Officer, I-I-I love you. Wanna bang?

HAHAHA fooled ya! This is what I said fo realz...

Me: Oh my. Officer, thank you so much. I-I really appreciate this. Thank you.

Mr. Officer: Not a problem, Ms. Allen. Now drive safely and get home safe [smiling]

Me: Thank you I will :)

Ugh what a hottie. And I definitely lucked out.

(I'm So Okay With Being Single [FOR NOW]) Quote of the Day

"You're wrong for me, and I'm OK with that. I don't want to be with someone who is wrong for me. Welcome to NYC, bitch - there's all types of wrong for me out here. And besides, if you were right for me we'd already be together, because that's what happens when people are right for each other." - Kat George for TC.

Source: Why You Are Wrong For Me

Get it gurrrrl!

Congrats to Miss Universe 2011 third-place runner up Shamcey Supsup from General Santos City, Philippines. Reppin' the hottest genre of Asians out there. Whoot whoot!

LDW Vlogging

With this new camera I got, I figured I'd show you how my 3-day weekend was down at the Jersey Shore. Nooo, not the Seaside Heights version (or place) but the more relaxed town of Longport. But for some reason I'm only allowed to upload one video at a time. And the shortest one of the bunch is the only one I can upload. Bummer, man. Oh well, it'll show how much fun I had with a few good friends down at the beach with absolutely no worries to deal with (except for the plethora of different casinos/clubs there were in Atlantic City). Hoofta.

Grieving Process part deux

I know I couldn't keep writing in my last post about grieving. That's just wayy too many of my issues for someone to take in. So I apologize.

Actually, I don't. Like I've said before, this is my blog and if something doesn't strike your fancy just skip over it or watch cat videos on YouTube until I decide to be my usual funny, #dgaf self. Thanks.

I kind of left it as if it were a primetime drama where you have to wait until the next episode to find out who really stole syringes from the medical closet or those stupid commercial breaks when Maury is about to reveal who da baby daddy is to some teen mama. Or when that fucker Ryan Seacrest is about to make one American Idol contestant's dream NOT come true.

My 'Grieving Process' post was basically about how I got burned for an unknown reason that is now known to me. Because I established weird communicative grounds with Stretch (you must refer to the link above if you care that much to know). Of course I was still upset weeks following our Two Week "Relationship". Out of nowhere Stretch raped my Facebook life: wrote on my wall at 2am, liked my profile picture, liked my comments to said picture, liked my statuses. Even BBMed me saying "Nice prof pic." But that was it. No explanation to why things ended, no "Sorry" (which would've been fucking nice).To me, it seemed like Stretch frolicked around the city with not a care in the world about being such a douchebag. Clearly, someone doesn't have a spine, surprisingly - Stretch does yoga...a lot. Hence, the nickname.

To shorten things up a bit, Stretch and I still communicate...sporadically, passive-aggressively, frenemy-like. It's weird and it sucks and I guess this is a normal way of communicating with one another when things that are slightly left unsettled, brushed under the rug. And that annoyed me. It was like Stretch was saying, "Hey! It looks like you're doing well. So, maybe we can just forget about it as if it never happened and kind of be friends when I feel like I'm not getting enough attention from you." #harsh but what do you expect?

I've actually seen Stretch twice since all of this fuckness. It wasn't awkward as I thought it would be. It was nice. As if nothing changed. But it has. Again, it sucks but it's whatever. I still feel like we're playing games and we are. I know we are. Ugh. It just doesn't make sense to me as to why I'm still "friends" with someone who clearly shit on me and moved on faster than I could blink in astonishment. I'm quite messed up, I know.

Situations like this have helped me realize that everyone needs to act like an asshole or a bitch once in a while to get points across. And I guess that's what I'm doing. I care but I don't (or at least shouldn't). I'm accepting that things aren't the way I wanted them to be or planned on. I'm moving on...at the speed of a turtle but I luckily have an amazing support system who does not like Stretch. And although I receive advice from all angles and added fuel to my fire (clearly my friends are on my side), it's gonna take effort from me, myself, and I to figure this out. And I may never figure shit out. I just have to stop being such a pussy and say what's on my mind.

C'mon Irene.

So, I'm sure the east coast has been basking in the fame spotlight this past week. With recent natural disasters like that earthquake in the beginning of the week and the bitch hurricane Irene that wrecked havoc and shit everywhere. To start last weekend off, the news told everyone to evacuate coastal areas, stay inside, stock up on non-perishable groceries, shit yourself, text your exes and tell them you'll always love them or that you hate them and hope they die, and of course, BE SAFE.

I was kind of worried and annoyed because I had plans last weekend like every other important twentysomething living in New York. I was gonna go on a date, maybe meet up with some douchebag friend in Brooklyn, bask in the sunshine, be a social butterfly, etc. But no, that didn't happen. Transportation to and from the city was going to be suspended starting Saturday afternoon and the last thing I wanted to be was stranded in Williamsburg or Crown Heights with nowhere to go (certainly wasn't going to get cozy after one date and the last place I'd wanna be is aligning my shakras with dbag friend).

Hands off my muffins, bitch!

Coming to terms with the fact that I'd have to stay in New Gross all weekend, I braved the grocery store Friday after work. Ugh, chaos. Lines of shopping carts everywhere, no more bottled water to be found. And the bread? Oh yeah, people like to bulk up on carbs so the strong winds don't blow them over. I'm harsh. But I can be - someone almost took the last Whole Wheat Thomas's English Muffins.

I didn't really buy anything out of the ordinary (carrots, hummus, avos, tortilla chips, veggie burgers, some sushi for dinner), sans a few canned vegetables and a frozen pizza (for the biffle nugg who'd be crashing at our place that weekend). I didn't really stay in line that long either. I wasn't in rush to escape the coming 'cane - it wasn't expected to shit on the east coast for a good 12-16 hours anyways. Next stop: Wine Bazaar next door. I wanted to be classy and increase my know-it-all-ism about wine so instead of the standard whites that I usually purchase, I went with two bottles of red. "I want to start drinking more red wine," I told the cute guy who gave me two awesome suggestions: Hanging Vines Pinot Noir (2010) & Sebastiani Cabernet Savignon (2009). Good years ;)

It was pretty shitty Saturday morning. Just rain. But I went for a run anyways. I came back soaked but it was nice to brave the calm before the storm. It was a lazyyyy Saturday. After my run, I showered, made lunch and drank nearly half the bottle of Pinot Noir all afternoon. I watched a documentary on marathon running, took two cat naps, and refilled my glass in between. I was feeling goooood that night. What else are you gonna do when cabin fever sets in?

Good morning!

Sunday morning I awoke to a sight that kind of scared me. A large and in charge tree from our other neighbor's backyard had basically fell over their fence and into our backyard, eating our deck. If our house was five feet back, that thing would've gone through my bedroom window. To date, the tree is still back there hanging out.
The top of the tree rested it's pretty little head on our deck like a pillow. It also wanted to come inside and hang out with the guys downstairs. Guess I won't be sunbathing on the deck anymore. Bummer. And we all thought she went up north to eat parts of Massachusetts and Rhode Island. But nay nay, she decided to stay for a while. Strong winds and branches blowing in the wind near the living room windows kept distracting us during our game of Monopoly, which I won by the way. I wanted to quit even though I had a lot of properties and moolah, so I handed the torch to my friend Kyle who, with his saavy business tactics, helped us to victory.

All in all, the weekend wasn't that bad. With a house full of company and belly full of wine and laughs, I'd say I didn't mind the hurricane. Our power didn't go out either! Although other parts of Westchester were hit pretty badly (like Bronxville and Rye), it seems like the county of getting back on it's feet.

Bronxville

Rye

As for that tree in our backyard...

it's like a friendly giant.

I was expecting something more along these lines...

In regards to this recent bitch Hurricane Irene, and all of the hub-bub surrounding it, I was expecting New Rochelle to look more like this...


Guess, we'll have to wait for Hurricane Jose and see what happens?

Grieving process.

I think I left a lot of my personal life out of this blog earlier this summer. Okay, not so much of my personal life, but my dating life. Mainly because I think the subject matter would probably make me look like a depressed fuck. I've confided in my friends, my mother, and even my boss on the matter. You know how grieving processes work - you have to communicate your feelings to those who'll listen; let it out, maybe even cry a little bit a lot. And in some cases, including my own, maybe even act a little reckless to the point where you don't know who you are anymore. You'll do whatever you can, anything you can, to distract yourself from that feeling of sadness, loneliness, confusion.

Dating in your twenties sucks. It really does. And I think Ryan O'Connell has hit the nail on the head with one of his recent TC posts: Understanding The Strange Dating Habits of Twentysomethings

What was also funny is that my best friend posted this article on my Facebook wall. "Interesting..." she noted. And indeed it was because it was a spitting image of what happened to me almost two months ago.

Referencing the article above, I experienced what O'Connell calls "The Two Week Relationship." In his words, "It’s when you date someone from anywhere to two weeks to a month and then decide to drop off the face of the planet. You go from being in constant communication (G-Chatting while at work, texting, dinner dates followed by an amazing make out session and maybe even sex) to being gone, baby, gone."*
*just to note, my own experience never got to the sex part and embarrassingly enough, nor to the make out session part either :(

I was seeing someone in early June for about...two weeks. We went on dates hung out 5 times. I never brought up the question, "Soo...what is this? This thing that we're doing?" although I wanted to ask. I liked the idea of dating and that's what it seemed like to me. But you never know.

Considering I have the patience the size of a pea about things of this matter (relationships), I tend to fall a bit too fast, a little hard, and end up hurting myself in the long run. Not physically hurting myself, although there are those times where I just want to run into traffic, jump out of window, or get shot in the abdomen by some hunter who mistook me for a deer. But just the sole fact, that I give too much, care too much, and never ask for that in return. And oftentimes, this leads to my getting burned.

What's so funny while I ramble on to a point I barely got to yet, was that when I was dating seeing this person who we'll name...Stretch, I felt compelled to blog about how great I was feeling at the time here. And what do you know, I was right - that happiness didn't last too long after that. The rug was in fact pulled underneath of me...

The last time I hung out with Stretch was also the last time I could consider us dating. The topic of us dating wasn't brought up at all until that night. I went to a documentary with Tor and Andrew and met up with Stretch afterwards. We sat and chatted on a stoop, went up to the rooftop then went for a walk. On said walk Stretch said, "So I was with my friend and I said, "Oh, well I'm kind of dating someone..." In my somewhat sobering drunken stupor (thanks to the open bar Tor and I took advantage of before the premiere), I GENUINELY asked, "Oh, who?" "YOU!" Stretch said.

Yeah...so just to clarify this for those reading as I did to all of my support system while they dealt with me through my grieving process: I DID NOT BRING IT UP. I DID NOT ESTABLISH THAT WE WERE DATING, STRETCH DID.

Stretch became a little embarrassed but rest assured I said, "Well, no, it's okay. I was wondering the same thing too..."

"I'm not seeing anyone else and yeah, I consider us dating," Stretch said. And when we said our goodbyes, Stretch added, "And sorry if I'm shy and bashful, I just like to take things slow."

Within 24 hours is when things were getting a little stretchy sketchy. I made plans to meet up with Stretch the next night - I was going to the city with a friend and asked if Stretch wanted to come along. "Yeah!" via BBM. Later on that night, I gave Stretch some deets of where we'd be. Stretch read my bbms and did not respond. I did not ask any questions despite I was upset because seriously, who doesn't like it when you know people read your shit and don't say anything when there is certainly room to respond in some cases? #Seriously!

Around 12:30am, I asked "Is everything okay?" And finally I got a, "No {insert BBM sad face} bad night." I didn't ask any questions and just said "I'm sorry try to get some sleep." Sunday rolls around and I'm still confused. That afternoon I BBMED Stretch to get dinner sometime that week. "Yes!!" was the answer. We chatted but something felt...off. I said something along the lines of let me know what day is best for you between Monday and Thursday. Stretch's response: "Yeah. Okay perfect. This day is so weird. Life is so weird. My friend came over and we drank and now I feel sicker than before. Like dehydrated death spins."

That wasn't at all important but I didn't hear from Stretch at all on Monday when in fact just the week before, Stretch would be texting me throughout the day all the time. I finally BBMed Stretch that night, "So would you still wanna do dinner this week?" "I'm leaving on a job after tomorrow," Stretch said. "Oh nice. Where are you off to?" "Kentucky for an amazon.com ad." "Congrats. Well I know this may be too soon to ask but when you get would you maybe wanna regroup?"

Stretch read it. And did not respond.

I know that right now I'm making myself seem like the BIGGEST idiot; a huge dating faux-pa on my end. I can feel people reading this getting that "Aww, Jules, honey. Bad call" look on their faces. I know I shouldn't have asked it but it was all in desperation and fear and anxiousness. All feelings I now know are normal when you're dating someone because dating is a scary thing and it's very hard.

I panicked, had the worst night sleeping and proceeded to work out in the fitness center of my office only to stop thirty minutes in and call my mother crying. I hit a new low, a low I haven't experienced since that one time my 3rd grade through 6th grade crush, Adam, made out with one of my friends...right in front of me. And everyone knew I crushed on him hard. Like our-names-in-a-big-heart-on-my-notebook kind of crush :\

I sound so pathetic. I feel a little pathetic. But as I've been told, this is normal. And I'm hoping those people who said that to me aren't just saying it instead of saying, "GET THE FUH OVER IT!" Because I sure as hell am trying. And unlike them, I'm not in a relationship - a majority of my friends are in committed, happy, sappy, feeling good relationships. Something I'd like to experience like you know, sometime soon considering I've been single all. my. life. Again, my patience is the size of a pea.

O'Connell added that it's so hard to date because of technology. The fact that we utilize it and communicate through it so much, the minute we stop receiving those regular texts/messages/likes on Facebook, we die. It takes the fun and excitement of dating out of our routine. Because it once was part of our routine. And now that it's not there - that happy, excited, scared, feeling - we feel like we're nothing; as if a huge part of our enjoyment was taken away from us for a confusing, unknown reason. Technology does in fact, make it so much easier to just drop someone altogether. No explanations. No goodbyes. Just a subconscious "Fuck you, I'm over it." And onto the next person they meet.

Part of me figured dating Stretch long term was too good to be true. How could I, land dating someone who was pretty frickin' attractive? I know that I'm an attractive young woman. I'm smart and all that jazz and have the capability of making a ferocious sabre-toothed tiger laugh. But looks aren't everything. I genuinely enjoyed Stretch's company. I really did. And now even that is not the same. Although we do talk here and there (something I'll have to talk about another time since I rambled on for so long already), I know Stretch has moved on. It was very easy to do so. Stretch is happy, and great-looking, and all that shit and is in a new relationship. A relationship that started right after me. So yeah, I think you can see why I'm still a little bitter. Part deux soon.

Things that Turn Me ON & OFF

I love Ryan O'Connell. I guess I would consider him my favorite writer on Thought Catalog considering he shits out so many articles daily. I follow him on Twitter and his tweets about his latest articles along with his personal tweets are quite enjoyable to know about. He recently wrote two TC articles about things that turn him on and off.

Things that turn me on
Things that turn me off

I thought I could make a brief list of my own...

     ON                                                        OFF
Collarbones                                       Behind-the-neck fat
Relaxed                                             On edge
Confident but not cocky                     Too cool for school
Funny                                                Judgmental
Adventurous                                      Boring
Friendly                                             Socially awkward
Fun drunk                                          Angry drunk
Different hobbies than my own           Agrees to everything I say
The occasional argument                   Constant arguments
Active/working                                   Lazy/unemployed
Affectionate                                      Unaffectionate
Dances, smiles, and laughs                 Sits, grimaces, and shrugs
Makes an effort                                Requests attention
Enjoys cat videos on YouTube             Plays too many video games
Eclectic                                             Straight-edge
Balances going out/staying in              Parties too much
Honest/upfront                                  Sketchy/plays games
Surprises (to an extent)                      Still hooking up with exes
Remembers                                         Forgets
Brings me up                                       Puts me down
Fills me in with current events           Makes me feel inferior    without making me feel like an idiot 

That's not asking for much...right?

Does the Earth shake when it orbits the Sun?

Or maybe I have that the other way around.

Just a little bit ago, the Earth shook. This morning around 5am, an earthquake hit Colorado. A few hours after that an earthquake hit Richmond, VA.

We felt the earth shake in the office for a good ten seconds I'd say. I was kind of laughing from the confusion. You can't help but laugh at something when you don't know what's going on. "Did you feel that?" the girl in the cube next to me asked. "Hahahahah yeah! What is that?" I said. Then the IT guy came on the intercom telling us to evacuate the building.

The biffle nug, like the good ol' miss current event updater she is, felt the earth shake in New Gross (I work in White Plains). I texted her asking if she felt that and she freaked out saying she did. She filled me in with all the juicy deets via the news. Apparently, parts of NYC, North Carolina, South Carolina, Ohio, Massachusetts, and parts of upstate NY felt the tremor.

I asked some chick I knew who was working/shooting/being modelesque in the city if she felt the earth shake. "No," she responded. But that's probably only because she doesn't have feelings anyways.* According to other people in the city, they thought it was a terrorist attack and brought back sad memories of 9/11 (this is what the Biffle Nug was filling me in on as she watched the news...on my couch...while I was at work...ugh).
*clearly, I'm being passive aggressive, which I hate but oh well! It's therapeutic once in a while.

Luckily, no one was hurt she said. So let's just all thank the higher powers, whichever ones you believe in, that there were no casualties or injuries. And let's not start worrying about the following year. We don't need anymore end of the world scares.

PS: take a look at Twitter and Facebook. I've seen some funny posts referring to the tremors like...

"I don't get it...I just farted." (friend of my friend Tor)

"Is it too soon for Haiti or Japan jokes...?" (friend Anthony)

"I'm the only person in my office who didn't notice the earthquake because my jack-hammer of a leg is constantly shaking my entire cubicle." (the great Lisa O'Neill)

"I hate when something 'major' happens in the world because then it dominates my feed and everything gets really boring for a sec" (Ryan O'Connell).

"...we get it people." (Gi baby)

And I posted this on my friend's wall: "Your alive? Fantastic. I must say, the earth tremors are kind of funny. I was laughing at all of the confusion. For a minute I thought we were orbiting around the sun! Go figure. Let's order sushi tonight and creep on campus. K thanks."

Did I ever tell you about that one time...

1. I went to a concert in Brooklyn and didn't even stay for the main act?
Kind of a bummer but I still had a great time! Two weeks ago I went to Prospect Park with my friend LT to see Foster the People open for Cut Copy. Mind you, FTP, although just the opening act along with some other band that wasn't that great, was theeee shit. We mainly wanted to go to the show just to see those cute boys sing "Helena Beat" and "Pumped Up Kicks" among their other awesome songs from their album, Torches. Don't get me wrong, I loveee Cut Copy but we basically didn't stay because we were kind of...you know...plastered. Yeah, Limited Edition Absolut San Francisco does that to you. But it was oh, so derishous - flavors of Grape, Dragon Fruit, and Papaya in and around mah mouth.

The culprit.

So while we rode the subway to Prospect Park, we, as wise concert-goers do, pregamed :)

But LT had this tote bag with her that carried an unopened bottled of Sprite Zero that was bouncing around on our way to the subway. By the time she opened it...yeah, I think you know what happens when a carbonated beverage that's been shaken, stirred, bounced, swaddled profusely does so you get the idea. We had an array of hipsters, after-work commuters, Brooklynites stare in awe as the zero-calorie chaser got on me, LT, and the chick sitting next to her who was listening to her iPod. Ohmmmmaga, this chick's face was priceless - a look of disgust as if someone just called her a 'cunt' or something really, really, nasty. I tried to hold in my laughter. Actually, I just let some chuckles out as I typed that. Ohhh, memories. The concert was great. We saw, hmmm, I'd say the a majority of FTP. Then bounced before Cut Copy came on.

We also made new friends in the park. No beverages were allowed into the venue, so we had to down our San Fran Absolut before the concert. WOOF. LT was hankering for a hot dog and I saw people using this grill outside of the venue."I think they're selling hot dogs over there," I said. "Hey! You guys selling hot dogs?!" she shouted over to the three ladies and a child running around. "No, were not," one lady said kindly.

#oops.

They were celebrating one of the lady's birthdays with a nice cookout. They charged LT $3 for a hotdog. #sleazy.

What was great about that subway ride were 2 things:
1. The serious hipster dude in his cuffed, skinny jeans, white button up, hipster hair, and Harry Potter sunglasses made the best surprised face ever. Like dis... :o
2. The iPod chick who got sOoOo irritated was listening to Britney Spears's "Stronger."

LT shouldn't have apologize to her.

NYTimes Mag: What they thought then and what they think now.

I'm sure you're guilty of taking that magazine you weren't finished reading from a waiting room you've been in when you had to leave or when your dentist/doctor/gyno/shrink was ready to see you. I'm guilty of it. But what's kind of sad is that I took a magazine from one of my best friend's houses. I don't even think her mom got to read it considering it came that morning with her copy of The New York Times.

It hadn't occurred to me that NYTimes published a magazine. I don't really keep up with the time, or The Times, for that matter. But what struck me about this issue were the great stories inside of it. And the fact that James King (who now goes by Jaime - I'm sorry, but I kind of like it when girls have guy names...it's cool. I wish she hadn't changed that) was on the cover. There was one photo of her when she was 16 and another taken of her currently.

NYTimes Mag from Aug. 21, 2011 issue;
taken by Nan Goldin

The cover story featured nine photographs from the mag's three-decade long running of news stories they covered over the years. The subjects, who were captured years ago, were now captured in real-time (some by the same photographer who captured them before) and where they were these days. From a 9/11 fireman to a teen mom, the photographs both old and new told stories of the subjects in a poignant way.

Although all of them have gotten older and are doing different things with their lives, their pasts have certainly helped mold them into who they are today. What was a common theme of this cover story titled 'Time Lapse' was what they thought back then and how they think now.

I was intrigued by King's story the most, considering she grew up a different way than normal teenagers. And what she thought then certainly is not how she thinks now...

"At 16 years old, you think you know everything, and then all of a sudden you realize that you don't know anything at all. That is the best way to explain what I was feeling at that time. I had grand illusions of what I thought modeling would be, as any young girl would. I was working with these masters in fashion and photography and learning from brilliant, creative people from around the world. But at the same time, I didn't realize the weight of responsibility that I would carry, to have the same expectations put upon you as a minor that an adult would have. I was just a kid; I didn't realize the freedom of youth that I was going to be trading in for success. I became very successful, and I didn't know how to that handle that. I felt like some people wanted a piece of me, wanted to take something from me. I felt that they wanted to sexualize me. In hindsight, I can see that and know the truth of it, but at that time I didn't know that's what they were doing. I just thought, Oh, I'm suddenly successful and all my dreams are coming true, but why do I feel so scared? I experimented with drugs; I was young and wanted to 'fit in.' I quickly realized this wasn't the path for me, and I haven't touched any drug since I was 17. I'm an actor now on an upcoming show on the CW, 'Hart of Dixie.' I wish that I would have known how to have a career and be a kid at the same time. I think for the fashion industry that can happen only if they have a union for the young models as they do for the young actors."


To read what King thought then, read Jennifer Egan's article from the February 1996 issue, "James Is a Girl."

I think people should read these as well...

As per my post from Thursday, July 14th, I think people should read these too. I've turned into the unofficial publicist for Thought Catalog.


The times when I feel most single  The pros and cons of attending an all girls school The ways in which you can tell if I like you On being brave enough to start again What happens when you crush doesn't crush you Manhattan neighborhoods in six words or less Top 5 hangovers likely to end up in projective vomiting Diary of a cyber girl relationship status  Ten Flawless Soundtracks (I agreed with #s 7, 8, and 9, which were also all great films). Why does graduating college suck so hard

(Inspirational/Get the fuh over it) Quote of the Day

"You’re skinny enough. I promise. Yourself is enough. Maybe you could read more, but whatever, we all could. Your clothes are fine. No, you don’t need to change before we go out. You’re not perfect but there’s a very small percentage of females who are, and he dumped you because he has a learning disability and refers to himself as 'The Wind.' It has nothing to do with you.

Your friends, even the ones who hate themselves too, hate you more when you resort to self-pity. Request excellence of you and others, but don’t turn into a sad-sack because you’re not your own ideal. Stop crying. You’re not Miranda July, your strife isn’t twee, and you’re too old for teenage angst. Everything is alright."

- Scaachi Koul