This happened a few weeks ago when I was driving my fairly new car named Wally back to New York. I went haome for a weekend - dentist appointment, you know - and was headed back to New Gross Monday evening. The trip is roughly two and a half hours, sometimes two hours and fifteen minutes without traffic...and the fact that I'm speeding a majority of the time.
However, the New Jersey Turnpike is notorious for its plethora of cops that pull over reckless drivers in hindsight. And driving at night, when the traffic is slim, makes it difficult to notice that you speed right by one. Which is what I did. The GPS told me I literally had a half hour left of my commute and after listening to the same CD on repeat TWICE, all I wanted to do was get the fuh home.
But what do you know...the po po be on my azz. Immediately, I saw flashing lights dart right behind me and I jet to the side of the road. I knew exactly why I was getting pulled over. What sucks was I barely broke in my new ride - I didn't even have the new tags for it! - before having my run in with the law. I get my registration and proof of insurance ready to hand over to the officer before he makes his way over to my window.
He was cute, fairly young (I want to say maybe early 30s, nice on the eyes too), and seemed rather friendly. Our conversation was as follows:
Mr. Officer: Hello there, license and registration please.
Me: Here ya go. Sorry, I'm just gonna get my license in my purse.
Mr. Officer: That's alright.
[hand sexy cop my license]
Mr. Officer: So, do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: [Smiling] I was speeding.
Mr. Officer: Yep. Do you know how fast you were going?
Me: Hmm. I wanna say...85?
Mr. Officer: [Smiling with his sexy smile] Right on the money! Do you know what the speed limit is here?
Me: Uhh...I really don't.
Mr. Officer: It's 55. Which means you were going 30 miles over the limit.
Me: Ohhhh. Okay.
Mr. Officer: So, what're you driving through Jersey for? You're license says Delaware.
Me: I work up in White Plains...temporarily.
Mr. Officer: Oh, so you have a place to stay?
Me: Yeah, in New Rochelle.
Mr. Officer: Ohh, okay. But why in such a hurry?
Me: Honestly, Officer, I just wanted to get home.
Mr. Officer: I see. How's your driving record?
Me: Uhhh...I wanna say it's pretty good?
Mr. Officer: Well, when did you get your last ticket?
Me: Hmm. I think it was two or three years ago. But I figured that's something you can check when you run my license.
Mr. Officer: Alrighty. Okay, I'm just gonna run this so sit tight I'll be right back.
Me: Okay! [Smiling]
I go ahead and tweet an FML-like tweet, text my roomie letting her know I'm not gonna be back when I planned since I got pulled over, and just think how fucked I'll be with paying for yet another thing on top of credit card bills, rent, and new car payments (fuckin' a). Five minutes go by and he walks back to my car with his sexy cop strut. I roll down my window.
Mr. Officer: You know, I really appreciate you being honest with me. And that's something I look for when I pull people over...So, I'm gonna give you a written warning this time.
[My face reads STUNNED]
...you were looking at mandatory court for being 3o miles over the speed limit, a $260 dollar fine, and three points on your license.
Me: Oh my. Wow. Officer, I-I-I love you. Wanna bang?
HAHAHA fooled ya! This is what I said fo realz...
Me: Oh my. Officer, thank you so much. I-I really appreciate this. Thank you.
Mr. Officer: Not a problem, Ms. Allen. Now drive safely and get home safe [smiling]
Me: Thank you I will :)
Ugh what a hottie. And I definitely lucked out.
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