"Practice."

May Day May Day May Day! Please read this if in need of a good laugh...

I overslept for work. I must've turned my alarm off in my sleep...again. I tend to do that when I don't sleep well. I woke up numerous times in the middle of the night, once thanks to the thunder and downpour and several times due to a nastily sore throat. Ouchies. 

I went to a Minute Clinic after work to get an actual diagnosis of what was wrong with me. There was a possibility that I could have strep. The only way I'd find that out right away was with a rapid-strep test.

This is where it gets funnayyyy...

A rapid-strep test involves a doctor or other medical practitioner taking an extra long q-tip and swabbing the inside of your throat. This swab tends to tickle the inside of your throat, oftentimes causing you to gag. This wasn't my first strep test and a few years back a friend of mine showed me a trick that stops you from gagging if objects were ever to enter your throat. Mind you, it was one of those "Did you know..." conversations that arose in the communal kitchen so we were all like "Wait, lemme see if it works with..." and so forth. It kind of reminded me of that scene in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. 

The practitioner told me about the strep test and I assured her I knew what was going to happen since I've taken them before. I got dis, I thought. She put the long swab in my mouth and I slyly did the anti-gag trick. She was in and out within milliseconds. "Wow, you're really good at that," she said after she was done swabbing the inside of my throat. 

And this is where I look like the BIGGEST slut ever...

"Thanks...practice." 

My eyes widened at my own response as her back was turned to me while she threw something away. WHY THE FUCK DID I SAY THAT?! She probably thinks I'm the biggest post-grad slut in all of Westchester County. Fuck.

Eh, whatevs. Some small talk and a diagnosis later, I was out the door.

The strep test came back negative. Yayyyy! My throat isn't pregnant :)

As for that trick, e-mail me ;)