Not that I lie all the time. Shit, if I did that I could probably have sex with my nose like Pinnochio. Okay, now I'm getting ahead of myself and causing everyone who reads this to think I'm a huge Disney Slut.*
*if I did have to pick a princess, it would probably be Pocahontas. Paint with all the colors of the wind, bitches!
Trust me, there have been times where I've been caught in a lie and I definitely knew I couldn't eat my way through that box of bull shit so I'd admit to lying, look like a fool, but at the same time feel better about myself in the end because I told the truth. And I guess when it comes down to it, I'd rather look like a fool telling the truth then living with a lie for the rest of my life. I mean, how could anyone possibly live with a lie? Unless your Jack Nicholson's mom on her death bed saying, "Hi! I'm not really your older sister but I'm your mom! Yeah, sorry to tell you now that I'm about to croak buuuut that lady you thought was our mama the whole time? Yah, you should've been calling her Grandma or Mommom, whichever you prefer. Peace, bitch."
Yeah, that would fucking #suck.
I could recall one time I agreed to go on a "blind" date with some guy who lived out in Crown Heights. Yeah, I said it - Crown Heights. Why? Well, I was single and had nothing better to do. And I was alllll about taking opportunities when they came my way. Nowadays, I'm more cautious but it was one of those "We Are Young"-type nights. Or days - it was a day date. Whatever.
It took us quite a while to finally meet up. I remember I used an excuse one weekend saying I had to take my friend to the hospital and that we'd have to reschedule. The day before I was looking forward to seeing him. But the morning of, I went on a run and afterwards I was having second thoughts. I thought, "Shit, do I really wanna do this?" He wasn't physically astounding but at the same time it wasn't always about looks. I wanted to give him a chance but my whole heart wasn't really into it to begin with. So I told him the friend-in-the-hospital lie and we planned to reschedule the following weekend.
After we hung out (which, mind you, was absolutely a waste of my time), I kind of let him off the easy way saying I had a lot on my plate since I was graduating soon. A few weeks passed and I was feeling drunkenly lonely (so lame, I know but who hasn't texted someone out of loneliness?! Yeah, thought so, fuckers) and shot him a text to hang out. Again, I was single and bored and made plans with someone I really didn't wanna see. Again, I went for a run the Saturday morning before we were supposed to hang out. And again, I had used the same lie about a friend being in the hospital, not realizing I already "used that one" on him a month before. He confronted me about it...
Him: You know what I just remembered...last time you broke plans you had to take your friend to the hospital..hmmm
Me: Probably. You know what you're right. And I apologize for that. I think my problem is that I make rash decisions w/o thinking about them first then panic and make excuses. I'm sorry I lied.
Him: I don't have time for games...
Me: I'm not playing any. Merely apologizing for lying. I don't wanna date you. I figured we could catch up but I wasn't thinking. Take my apology or not, Lord knows I could've kept the lie going but I didn't because I know I don't like being lied to so why should I do it to you. I said sorry and that's that. Good luck with everything.
I'm surprised that text was still in my phone. I went to check Facebook to see how he's been since we clearly don't communicate anymore. He deleted me off of Facebook. Fair enough.
I really didn't mean to play games with him. Maybe in his eyes I was doing just that. But I was honest with him, because I know I haaaaaaaaate being lied to. I couldn't put someone through that shit if I didn't like it happening to me. I have a tendency of being cynical and I spent my entire childhood being gullible. Now that I'm attempting to grow up day to day, I try not to let bullshit cloud my judgment. Keyword: try - life is hard, bitches.
It was quite mature of me though - to confess to lying to someone. I was basically using someone for my own emotional relief. And I know I wouldn't wanna be someone's personal baby wipe unless I knew they would appreciate the help and was going to stick around for a good minute. However, I didn't really see anything happening with this guy in the future, so why waste his time along with mine? Lesson learned.
I also was honest with someone I used to date. Things ended months ago and I've completely moved on and wasn't really in the right mindset to even think about a potential friendship blossoming anytime soon. A lot was on my plate, and still is, and it wasn't/isn't necessarily a priority to take care of right away. Not that it was tasking to say the least but sometimes ya just need some space, you know?! Granted, I do sound like a bitch - I did have good intentions...
Her: I hate allll my friends :(
Me: Excuse me?
Her: They all suck. Lol I miss good quality friends.
Me: Are you drunk? I really don't understand what you're getting at.
Her: No. I'm not. I was just saying I miss good friends. You were a good friend.
Me: No, [insert name here]. I was a good date. And unfortunately that's where we differ. See, I have amazing friends. Just not great dating potential.
Her: You were a good date. I just didn't want to be inappropriate by saying that. The timing sucked so bad for us. I regret my bad behavior every day.
Me: Thanks but it's kinda too late for that. Get some rest. Goodnight!
Her: I was apologizing for bad behavior not asking for another chance. I'd just like to be friends. Goodnight.
Me: Regardless, you should've apologized when it happened. Not after the fact when I've moved on.
Her: Agreed. You deserve the best. Sorry for bothering you.
Me: I do. And I believe I will get the best one day. And so will you. Take care.
I was being honest. And as much as I did sound like a cunt scab, I meant what I said. I do believe that we both deserve the best that life can give, it's just not with each other. Accepted and understood.
Sometimes being a little brash is the only way I can get my point across. Again, tolerating bullshit is becoming minimal as I age. IT'S DA TRUF! I honestly can't be bothered by it especially when I've got my own shit to deal with.
In order to be in the
All in all, how much is it to ask for honesty?! No matter whether you wanna hear it or not, you're better off with the truth. As I've read in a Thought Catalog article by one of my fave bitches, Ryan O'Connell, "you're better off knowing someone's true colors than not. Understand that people can be really crappy will take you far in life." So celebrate National Honesty Day (or what's left of it) with much enthusiasm!!!
Cheers, y'all. I am drinking beer currently. But this does not affect my ability to clear-headedly blog, thank you very much. I'm being honest.
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