(Non)sense & Sensibility

If you haven't read the blog Philolzophy, I suggest you read it now. Not only is it funny but the female duo behind the site write for Thought Catalog under the pseudonym Johanna de Silentio. They posted an article entitled, When Nothing Makes Sense on both pages. If you read it, you will see above the article a picture of Salvador Dali's The Persistence of Memory (1931). I remember when I took a Modern Art course in college, we studied Dali. His paintings rarely, if not never, made sense to me. I guess it was just a mix of all his own random thoughts he painted on his canvas and I was one person that never really understood it. But that's how his mind worked and I guess the only person who would make sense of that is Dali himself. I don't think Dali was confused when he painted that piece; I don't think he was confused about any of his paintings. All in all, he could've been comfortable with not making sense of any of them and just painted what came to mind. But who am I to speak for one of the world's most famous artists? I would certainly admire and study his paintings over a piece of string on display at the MoMa (I've seen that before with my own eyes at MoMa. I was like "Really? It's a piece of string on a wall tacked to the floor. The fuck?").

I guess what I took from the article is that life is never going to make sense. And sometimes we can grow comfortable to that. I remember when I'd be dating someone and my friends would ask how it was going, I would just laugh and say, "I really don't know." But that could was because the situation was just messed up. At the same time, with it being messed up, it was just a confusing mess and I didn't really know how to tackle with it let alone deal with it at the time. Maybe we're not supposed to make sense of situations at the present moment and should let them just marinate in this mix of confusion; have situations just kind of sit there (on the counter) and wait until it all makes sense.

Sometimes there's this weird comfortability with the unknown. It doesn't mean I want to live not knowing things for the rest of my life but I guess for the time being, the confusion isn't really killing me. I'm numb to it almost. There are days when I can understand things and the next day, the same thing will seem like a blur to me - as if I don't know what the hell to believe anymore. That puzzle I thought I figured out and knew where the pieces went can become a completely different puzzle overnight; maybe I misplaced the pieces and they're not fitting like I thought they would. And thinking about it, life is one of the toughest puzzles to solve and sometimes it remains unsolved for the longest time.

My work ethic consists of little breaks in between tasks to keep my mind refreshed so I'm not consistently working on the same thing for hours, or days, on end. The mind needs to rest before going back into something. So instead of sitting at my desk confused, or wondering where I stand with someone, I sometimes need to let things marinate for a while before I can come back to the situation and work on it.

I know that I won't be able to figure out all of my life's most confusing situations. I kind of just have to leave them be for a while until miraculously the time comes when I make sense of it all. When I'm able to make that move or know what I have to do next. That miraculous moment could be overnight, in the middle of the day, a month from now, or a year from now. Who really knows.

I do agree with the end of the article, because I guess in due time everything will make sense or the things I was confused about were right all along. At the right time, I'll know when to come back and tackle life's puzzles. And all the puzzle pieces will be placed in the correct spots and come together eventually. Philolzophy was right: "It doesn’t make sense and it might not ever again. But maybe if you try really hard or if you just relax in the recognition that it doesn’t, you can make a little sense of the nonsense."