I'm taking a mental break in the library. You know, that place everyone decides to check out for the first time at the end of each semester to cram for exams and start projects that were assigned at the beginning of the semester but are actually being started and finished days or hours beforehand. A place where people go to see people using the library for the first time. You get all excited when you see someone you haven't seen in the library ever (if you're a frequent library goer...we should get reward points) and they freak out because they don't wanna talk to you because they have "sooo much shit to get done by tomorrow" or they're happy to see you so you can "help me with what's due for so and so's class". Ugh. But who am I to say that I am not a slacker? If one could see what I'm doing here, I'm typing more than 500 words a minute as I write a final paper due tomorrow morning. Luckily, I finished my internship two weeks earlier than planned so I can deal with projects like these and long hours in the library. I'm also straight-up buzzin' on a productive spree as I type this.
Also, it's funny to take note of how this institution, like other colleges and universities turn into a drug ring, with desperate students looking for Adderall or study aids like Monster and Red Bull as they pull all-dayers and all-nighters stuck in the library writing, studying, and Facebook creeping. I'm not sure if people still do coke around here. Actually I am sure but I'm not delving into other peoples' habits.
But so far, I had a phone interview this morning, met with a group member on an Ad project we have to get done by Thursday (the presentation date), and finished a majority of my final paper for my internship course that's due tomorrow (in a span of two hours and counting). So far, I'm at 8 pages. Whoo! On a roll. Since I have no classes on Tuesdays (because of that internship being ovahh..duh), I'm utilizing my entire day to concentrate on my final paper, my ad project, Facebook breaks, and studying for one of my Marketing exams that is tomorrow. If I have time, which I'll make, I'll go to the gym to sweat out some endorphins and possibly treat myself to fro-yo with a friend. Again, this is if I have time!
During this mental break, I read an article on Thought Catalog called "Things I Am/Have Been Afraid Of" by Molly Labell and it got me thinking of some things that I, myself, am scared of.
In no particular order...
Rejection. Who isn't afraid of this though?! Rejection from potential employers, potential love interests, maybe friends turning down plans, etc. I don't like it and when it happens I get sad. But like close friends and family tell me all the time, just get back up and keep going. Don't let some stupid doucher stop you from telling yourself, "I'm not gonna grow old alone" or "I will get a job eventually". Because eventually I'm gonna date some uber sexy and awesome and land a job that will make me happy and I'll dance all the time and smile and all that shit kinda like Joseph Gordon Levitt in 500 Days of Summer after he bones Zoey Deschanel for the first time. But I'll be happy longer than he was!
Leaking tampons. Like in Labell's article, mother nature sucks sometimes, especially for us ladiezzz. Ever since I was "blessed" with womanhood, I've always had this fear of getting out of a seat in class or wherever I'm at and there will be a huge red stain on my ass. I'll catch myself grazing my ass with my hand as if something was on it to make sure it doesn't feel...wet. I'm sure it's happened to young ladies (and it's happened to me in the safety of my own home) but it really puts a damper on one's day. And the embarrassment? Let's just say I don't know what's more red: my cheeks or that stain.
Girls. I am one but I hate them. I have many close girlfriends who've stuck by me through thick and thin. But as a species, we suck. We play so many mind games, we could potentially be pros at playing Monopoly. We're fake and we take things out of proportion. We overthink things and we always claim to not wanna be involved in drama but find ourselves in the middle of sticky situations. We're power hungry and we'll use our good looks and charm to get what we want and if we don't get it, we throw fits and tantrums either internally or in public. Or maybe this is just my perception of girls? Whatever. One thing I want to put to rest is this: Boys, we do poop and we do fart. Don't think we're angelic little things without digestive tracts. We be some nasty bitches.
Doing something horrible/or having said horribleness be done to you. Ever imagine yourself in one of those Final Destination sequences? You get ripped apart by an 18-wheeler because one of your friends told you they'd fuck you if you got their pet rabbit sitting in the middle of the road. Or you trip down a flight of stairs and your eye lands directly on a sharpened pencil. OR, you accidentally drop a baby on concrete. I get into these instances where I'll just randomly imagine horrible things happening and I'll get this horrified look on my face as I stare into space for about a minute and a half. And then I come to reality. Ugh, it's frightening.
Food poinsoning. I've gotten it before and it was not fun. A mix of internal mess fest being projectiled out of both ends of your body for an unknown amount of time is complete fuckness. Every time I order something with food that comes with dire consequences if not prepared properly (i.e. chicken from a Mexican restaurant in SoHo that I'm never going to ever again) I make sure to check if it's pink or undercooked.
Heights. Being high is one thing. But being high above the ground is another.*
*Note to readers: I do not smoke pot.
Back sweat. This is mainly a personal issue I try not to have happen to me because it's annoying and gross. Unless I'm in the gym of course.
Getting sick after excessively drinking. Similar to Labell, getting sick after drinking a lot is not fun. The spins set in and then the struggle to find some place to upchuck your insides out for an unset amount of time blows. I've learned from past experiences to drink in moderation. Or...I think I have? I don't binge drink, I drink socially and sometimes I feel a little more social than I wanna be ;)
There certainly are other things that I'm afraid of but I have to get back to my work.
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