If you haven't read my post weeks back (probably late December/early January) I wrote about a book I read back then called "Dirty Girls." A woman's (and man's) guide...er, confession to what us beautiful creatures do when guys/significant others aren't around. We are slobs. We are gross. We are more than just pretty faces. We hawk loogies when we cough (kinda like what I'm doing now as I battle a dry/productive/hurtful/uncontrollable/let's fuck with Jules kind of cough). We don't take the trash out until after the garbage collector comes. And cleaning the bathroom is like pulling teeth.
I figure it would be time to let my followers in on some of my habits/doings as they occur. I don't know if I've ever confessed to doing anything "dirty" until now. The idea came to me as I was in the middle of said "dirty" act. So here goes confession numero uno:
I rush home after night class. I stop at CVS to get some cough syrup, afraid to even breathe in because I know if I try to breathe in, I'm going to cough and a little pee is going to come out. And I'll find myself in that awkward stance in public with my legs close together, leaning to one side. After purchase and parking my car on my street, I walk up my steep hill to my apartment, taking short breaths as I near the front door. I run up the stairs, drop all of my shit on the ground and cough/crawl as I go into the bathroom and sit on the toilet. I let out all of my inner dryness as I pee. I hawk a loogy into the toilet before flushing. I run back into the living room where I dropped all my stuff. I crack open the cough syrup and chug...maybe a good two tablespoons. I shower, clothe myself, make a quick salad in the kitchen while I boil water for tea. I rush to eat my minimalist/non-exciting salad with ranch, the only dressing I can find in our monster troll fridge (it needs to be cleaned/organized/tested for SARS/etc).
Instead of going along with the plan from earlier of making tortellini for dinner, I opt for the salad, tea,...and queso dip with tortilla chips. Yes, let over Superbowl grub. I quickly heat up the queso dip in a small bowl. I grab the new bag of Tostitos and sit on the futon against one of the walls in the living room. The lights weren't working so I sit in the dark and go to town. This is when I felt the most relax. It's not soup with warmth to cure this chest congestion but it hit the spot...sorta. My water boiled and a mug of cranberry tea and this post later, I'm done :).
I was going to blog about my epic sauce weekend but that'll have to wait, considering I had unexpected visitors come join me at work and watch YouTube videos of kittens, hair petters, and fat people falling. But I promise a weekend update will come in no time, just without Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey.
Where's my Nyquil.
No comments:
Post a Comment