The waiting game

This winter has not only been sporadic in terms of weather but also in terms of my personal life. Not trying to sound thought-provoking, it's not like I'm going to get published in #ThoughtCatalog anytime soon. But I've encountered some of the most interesting situations recently and I'm not sure what to think of them. Some good, some bad (maybe?), many certainly confusing. I guess my boss was right, "The universe works in mysterious ways." I stop reading my horoscope when things get a little weird.

Probably one of the many deep articles I've read on TC include Chelsea Fagan's recent one You Don't Need to Say Anything. We always say those words but we sometimes expect the person we say it to to respond. We want an answer, we just don't ask for one. Sometimes because we don't want to look vulnerable, or because we don't know how to say things a certain way, or simply because we're just downright confused about whatever it is that's on our mind and we just don't know how to say it.

Fagan wrote about burning bridges with people who played a significant role at one time in her life but now are just fleeting memories she either intentionally or unintentionally "left untended for years until weeds grew through it and the railing fell apart and it became something you might take a black-and-white picture of, but you could never cross again."

It was kind of sad to read but then again, what relevant-to-one's-life TC article isn't? It was sad in a sense that all I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs was, "FINALLY SOMEONE GETS IT!"

Not really. But still.

In a twentysomething's mindset, "letting people down easy" is just plain wrong. To me, I think it's honest and less confusing - it keeps parties from guessing how a situation is currently sitting. You simply say it, wish each other well (if applicable), and go on living life. It's not hard, it shouldn't hurt (if it does, learn from it), and it's less time-consuming. I think I'm trying to sell honesty in an infomercial here.

I have left many a bridge unburned, simply because I didn't know what was going on. I'm a bit of a space cadet (probably an understatement according to my social circle) and yeah, I have the tendency to look far into things. But rather than crying for a few days jumping to conclusions, I force myself to simply just sit and wait. Patience is a virtue that I fail to put to practice on my own. I think we have instant messaging, text, BBM, a spoiled childhood, etc. to thank for all of our impatience.

But can you blame me for not wondering how things pan out? After getting played over the summer (along with failed attempts at dating), I tried to avoid going down the same route twice. But I think there's a pattern in my dating "track record" that I've took notice to. It's like that speed bump of uncertainty you're trying to drive over. It seems small but it can really do some damage to your undercarriage (totally just updated my Facebook status with my epic analogy). Yes, dating is exciting, it's fun, it makes you all...bajiggity (reference to Cameron Diaz chick flick The Sweetest Thing). But there's a weird standstill at one point or another. A screeching halt right before that speed bump.

However, uncertainty isn't always a bad thing. It can be a moment of clarity, a time to refresh the mind and really think about things, some "me" time to one's self. If the juice is truly worth the squeeze, you wait for it. You let that sucker ripen up on its own schedule. You give it space and time to grow. You keep yourself occupied with the priorities you have on your plate. Just because you're waiting for fruit to grow doesn't mean you should drop everything else. That fruit wasn't there before, you had a life before that fruit was in the picture! When it's ready, you'll know - it'll let you know. I'm not guaranteeing a high success rate here but you do things for a reason. There's a risk to pretty much anything these days, but we still take them.

And no matter how things pan out, whether good or bad, everything is going to be fine. Like Fagan said, "We’re all okay, and there are so many exciting things in front of us — let’s let that be enough."