An Ode to Friends

Today is National Best Friends Day. So I thought I'd take some time out of my "really busy schedule" on this overcast casual Friday to bid some heartfelt gratitude and love to some of my favorite beebles. Yes, beebles. It beats being called a cunt scab let's just say that.

For the record, my friend group consists of both males and females, with the latter being more prominent on my Beeble VIP list. While on the topic of gender, my male companions as I would like to call them (don't worry, strictly platonic), have been there to listen to me bitch about nonsense just like my female bitties do. I like to get a male perspective on life things, love things, and alcohol things. For example, I wouldn't necessarily say I'd share the love of whiskey, or is it Scotch(?), with my friend Andrew but we can still have a lengthy discussion about tobacco commercials and our mutual distaste for a company we both applied to. Same goes for my friend Jordan, who I can have really vulgar conversations with knowing he won't try to stick his finger in my Venus Fly-Trap. Like I said, we can be vulgar and not fear for the worst. He's also a great person to watch Nip/Fuck with (along with KYLE!) and to eat foodz with.

My female titty committee has my back as well. For example, I can rely on Kayla being there to hate people I used to date even after I've said some irrational things to her in a heated text feud, or "bully" her on social media sites. She's like a sister to me so I'd say it's normal to fight for five seconds then bury the hatchet with cheese, wine, chocolate, or vodka. What can I say, she wants the best for me as I do her. Whoa, not like "I do my best friend" but like "I want the best for her as well." I'm gonna stop talking.

<3

My friends are not only shoulders to cry on, emitting at times a tough-love approach, but they are also comic reliefs. Like that one time I was in the Hamptons and dropped my friend (twice) on concrete. I was laughing so hard, I had to pee so I proceeded to pee next to her. She was okay with it. And when Gianna gives me relationship, health, and life advice, we proceed to pee ourselves, choke on our own spit, and ROFL on the dirty kitchen floor at stupid things and people.

DMB/Iona/Pdale biddies :)

I'm also not afraid to laugh at my ridiculous behavior with my friends - like that one time I got my period on the futon junior year sitting next to Frump, and Bubba texted me from across the room saying it's all okay. I actually don't think I admitted that story until right now. Oh well. Now it's funny to laugh at I guess.

My friends laugh at me because well, I make them laugh whether it be from ranting about something that pisses me off (6 times out of 10 I'm pissed off at something or someone), I sing really badly, I randomly get tourrettes and say awkward out-of-nowhere comments ("Nigga made a pizza!" or when I run with a hot sauce pan, "Hot plate! HOT PLATE!"), I trip over myself or bump into a wall, I tell stories about said ridiculous behavior with my well-known sarcastic touch and "Really?Really." face, my impersonations of our former rowing coach, celebrities, and other friends we make fun of, etc. Hey, if you can't make fun of each other and laugh about it afterwards, then go live in a hole with bears and be boring and shit.

UNDA Spring 2010 - Until we meet again <3

I love my friends. I do. They are close to being my everything. If I had to choose between a beautiful bowl of avocados or my friends to save from a burning building, I would choose my friends. Granted, they would be heavy fucks to carry but I'd like to think of myself as rather innovative in times of stress. And being an only child, I rely on them to be personal safety nets and humanly figures to console me when someone hurts my feelings. Like this...

So here's to friends. My friends. I love you all and I have no idea what I'd do if it weren't for any of you there to pick me up when I'm down on my luck or drunk off my feet. For all the times I've cried about being single or dating douchebags and not knowing what to do, and those times you dragged my crabby ass out on the town for laughs, fun, and drinks. For those times where we can be lazy together and do absolutely nothing all day and be okay with it. For those times we say we're going to get healthy and end up drinking bottles of wine and eating homemade pizza. For the times when you hear me say things like, "Ouch, my vagina!" or "I'd fuck to that!" For those times where I can pee with the door open and none of you will think anything weird about it, I thank you. Even if we don't see each other often, I love how we can start right where we left off. I will continue to share the fondest of fondest memories and ridiculous behavior with my friends. Most of it will probably be published here with their permission (maybe). They wouldn't sue. They love me. Right?!

AND FOR THE RECORD: If you are not seen in any of the pictures above, do not get offended or take anything personally. I know some of you will (ehem, Danielle).