In regards, to the previous 40 things, here are 40 more. And if you haven't read the first 40 then you should before you read these 40. Just came back from a run in mah new shoez and felt inspired. Meow. Woof.
1. Pet names, I'm guilty. Consider yourself lucky if I don't call you by your real name. Real names are dull. Okay, not really, but seriously...how do you expect me to get comfortable with you without a nickname? Nicknames are boss and cool and say things like, "Hey, I'm cool enough to be called something other than my real name. Only my parents call me by my real name. Lame sauce!"
2. I rape New York Magazine's Restaurant and Bar section of the website. It's maddening how many great and famazing places there are in the 13.4 mile-long island and surrounding burroughs. Fiddlesticks, I really wanna go on dates at all these places. It's just a matter of finding the right company, and if you consist of that right company, then you're all taken care of. At least for that night. And if my bank account allows it. Moreover, you have to be fucking nice is what it comes down to. I'm not taking you to Frank or ABC Kitchen if you're gonna treat me like dog shit.
3. If you intrigue me, I will smile. You may not know it but I'm smiling.
4. I say "anyways," rather than the grammatically correct, "anyway." I add the s. Why? Just 'cause. And if it's a make or break of you dating me, then you can sit by yourself. Forever.
5. The older I get, the nicer I try to be. However, the nicer I try to be, I don't always receive the responses I'd like to hear. Example: If I try to be sweet to you and you respond sarcastically, I'll feel defeated. I'm sorry but I will.
6. In regards to #5, I'm also quite sensitive. But don't really show it :\
7. I think about sex during the day more often than at night.
8. The company I currently work for is somewhat lax with their personal phone use policy. To be honest, we don't have a personal phone use policy. But I can text. So don't think I'm uber needy if I'm texting you during my work hours. Or calling you on an extended break. I'm great at multitasking and that doesn't just apply to using a phone.
9. I won't make the first move. I just won't. I'll imply for it to happen. I'll hint at your ability to "go in for the kill." I'll even meet you half way (okay, more like you come in 60% and I'll go in 40% in terms of kissing). But I just can't get myself to put on my big girl pants and make the first move! At least not yet.
10. I have a pretty good memory, so don't lie. Or at least try not to. Better yet, simply quit while you're ahead. I'll catch up, put pieces together, and eventually question you. Sorry, but I'm not trying to be made a fool especially when I'm willing to take you to Frank or ABC Kitchen (see #2).
11. I'll make you mix CDs and hope to God you like the songs.
12. If I'm having a really shitty day and I plan on seeing you, I will genuinely ask you for a hug because I genuinely need one in my overwhelmed state. And please respond kindly. Who doesn't like hugs?
13. If I feel the need to console you for some odd reason, I'll pat and/or rub the top of your back for a good second or two. Just let it happen.
14. I'm that type of girl who smiles at her phone when you text me. I mean, if it's something nice of course. Who would smile at a text like, "You're being a sensitive cunt. I don't want to talk to you right meow or go to Frank with you."
15. I listen to inspirational, Christian music on the radio to and from work. Don't ask. But those songs really get me through some tough times, especially as of late. One time, I was driving home and I heard this song, and I started bawling. Legit, #bawling. If this means you'll stop seeing me and talking to me, then you are definitely not worth expensive dinner dates and back rubs. Fuh you!
16. I'll have those days where I'm just sad for no reason. It has nothing to do with you. I'm just sad. And I'll secretly hope you'll console me with a hug or some inspirational words.
17. I read here and there. I usually read obscure literature. Like right now, I'm reading C.S. Lewis. I think it'd be so cute if you gave me a book to read and wrote me a little note in it. I'd keep it forever even if I didn't read the whole thing.
18. I'll miss you more when I drink wine with my friends. I'm currently doing that right meow with three of my besties.
19. Body pillows. They are famazing. When you're not around...yeah, I'll be putting my crotch on that and cuddling like a sad puppy in need of some lovin'.
20. In regards to #19, I'm big on cuddling. I cuddled with my mama this past weekend because I was feeling really down and didn't want to be alone. I'm sorry but I love my mama and if she's willing to be the only one to love me then so be it.
21. Eventually, I would like to say goodnight to you. Whether it's via text or a brief phonecall, I would want to say goodnight to you no matter if you're out with friends or taking an early night in.
22. As much as I love Williamsburg and the #hipster lifestyle, I can't fathom fully dressing like one. I mean, I try but it never works out. Just don't judge me if I wear herrem pants on a date. If I do, that means I'm #extremely comfortable around you.
23. I'm drunk, please don't judge me for blogging right meow.
24. I've said this before, if I'm out with friends and I'm drunk, I'll expect you to pay attention to me when you text me.
25. I will want to send you e-mails of things that pop up on my Twitter that remind me of yew.
26. I will secretly hope you have a partially romantic side to you. I mean, I do. SoooOOOoooo, it would only make sense? Idk.
27. I have the worst sounding morning voice. I used to talk to someone who thought it was "so sexy" but no. It's not. I sound like raspy senior citizen who lives in nursing home miserable, sad, and alone. Or widowed. Depending on when you die.
28. I will support you. If you're working in the circus or about to get an abortion, I will support you. Look, my motto is, "If I'm gonna love ya, I'm gonna love all of ya." But...that depends on a lot. Like a lot.
29. You show me the same amount of effort that I put into a relationship, if not more, I will treat you like a queen, a princess, like fucking Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge.
30. I would want to read to you. Usually, I like sharing interesting Thought Catalog articles with people and I will insist on reading them out loud to you whether over the phone or in person.
31. I'm big on tone and sometimes texting can be a little much for me, especially if I don't know your sense of humor or can't read your interest level. I may become stand offish without assurance that you're joking/still interested/not being a huge dick of a person/etc. Refer to #6.
32. I've played games when I dated before and as I get older, that's becoming more of a hassle than a fun time. Dating should be fun, not strategic. So don't try sinking my battleship by being a asshole.Thanks.
33. Phone > Texting. Depending on the time and place.
34. I used to have the hardest time accepting compliments. But you know what? It just goes to show you that someone is just trying to be nice. And that's what I try to do these days without losing all sense of my wit, sarcasm, and cynicism. So dammit, if I say you smell good or look good, then take it. Don't "blame" it on the fact that you showered for the first time in 13 days or I'm just looking at you from a certain angle.
35. I'm not a klepto but I'll ask you if I can have something that you're wearing. Not in a weird way though. More of like a childish, "gimme gimme" way. I'll insist on trading with you something of equal or lesser value (lesser if I'm being honest) of my own, but over time I'll just keep whatever is yours and say I'm "taking good care of it temporarily." You won't get it back. And I probably won't end up trading anything of mine with you.
36. I'm not that great at planning dates. I'm good at making suggestions, meeting you at said destination at said time, and even being a team player and trying new grub, drinks, blah blah blah. But when it comes to planning, I'm better at planning roadtrips and social gatherings. I think.
37. I'm slightly self-conscious about my writing and if you show little to no interest in reading my blog, or you seem like a judgmental person, you're never reading this.
38. I do believe that first impressions are quite important. So don't be a dick.
39. I would hope that you in some way at least try to take care of yourself (i.e. decent night's rest, a little exercise even if that amounts to stretching in the morning or cracking your knuckles, have some sort of ambition even if that means determination to finish your plate of food or alcoholic beverage, etc.). Essentially, don't be a slug.
40. I will do everything in my power to make you smile. I promise you that :)
No comments:
Post a Comment