1. Avoid cryptic people and their cryptic answers. If it sounds cryptic, don't listen. If it smells cryptic, don't eat it.
2. Keep your expectations low. Like under the ground low.
3. Be cynical. And don't be ashamed of it.
4. Don't base relationships on what you see online. Even if it does hurt your feelings.
5. De-activate said social footprints if they make you upset every time you reactivate them.
6. Don't make an effort toward others if they don't make an effort toward you.
7. Be honest (even when you write). Staying passive will only make you even more upset.
8. Realize people aren't psychics, they can't read your mind...unless they were trained by Miss Cleo.
9. Have patience but if it's tested then throw in the towel. At least you tried.
10. Listen to music. Listen to the lyrics. Be cryptic and make them your Facebook statuses.
11. Use phrases like "not yet," "who knows," "not so sure," when talking about your like/love life.
12. Listen to "Matt Nathanson" Radio on Pandora.
13. If you're simply someone's option and not one of their priorities, put them on the bottom of your list or close to the bottom. Try not to feel bad about it. Enjoy some fruit-at-the-bottom yogurt.
14. Take promises with a grain of salt. And pepper if you like that too.
15. Don't cry in public. Or in my case, cry after trying so hard to hold it together. #oops
16. Emotionally shut down.
17. Exercise...a lot.
18. Silence your phone. In fact, put it away. Your loved ones can e-mail or phone your office extension.
19. Drink more water (this is my mom's answer for everything).
And the most obvious....
20. Write when you're pissed.
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